Today, we join our spiritual predecessor Larry Bacow and come out of retirement. Just as Larry left in search of a better life, today we too say our goodbyes. We hope, however, to leave one nugget of our wisdom behind.
Editor’s note: Presently incarcerated persons featured in the article are not identified by name, as per the instruction of the Massachusetts Department of Correction.
At the start of each school year, students adjust to new classes, living situations, social dynamics and more. For the past three years, the “more” part of this sentence has included a spate of guidelines designed to protect the Tufts community from COVID-19.
It seems, fellow potty talkers, that our semester together must now draw to a close, and with it, our exploration of the annals of Tufts’ historied restrooms. Much like the conclusion of any good mid-lecture bathroom break, we meet this moment with a mixture of melancholy and relief.
Most liberal arts colleges have psychology, computer science and philosophy majors. Few, however, have cognitive and brain science (CBS) or similar majors, which are often more simply called cognitive science. These courses of study give students the opportunity to analyze different parts of each of the three fields with the lens of trying to understand the human mind. With a mashup of required courses offered by the computer science and psychology departments, along with electives in philosophy, child studies and education, some students go through the major wondering what exactly CBS is and where they might go with a degree in it. The Daily set off on a mission — guided by faculty from various departments — to answer these questions.
Having formed some of our most cherished childhood memories at Jewish Community Centers (JCC) throughout the country (but really just Northern New Jersey, the most densely JCC-ed region of our great nation), we were excited to hear that Tufts was getting our very own JCC. Given the prevalence of IBS within the Jewish community (including among yours truly), we knew this building would be home to powerful bathrooms for sure!
“Where does a ragtag, volunteer student body in need of a shower somehow find a bathroom in their darkest hour?” When Lin-Manuel Miranda first posed a version of this question circa 2015, he did not realize the degree to which his question would resonate with his NESCAC rivals.
A week ago, we spelunked through the spooky cellars that are Ballou Hall’s downstairs bathrooms. But this week we reveal the real horror as we board Ballou’s regal elevator and soar to its higher floors. Tufts’ administrators are living in plush pottydom while we, the people, survive with odd smells and ugly tiling.
Many connoisseurs of spookiness have agreed that Boris Johnson is perhaps the spookiest man alive. And the only building at Tufts that we could find photo evidence of Johnson having entered is Ballou Hall. By the transitive property, then, we know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that Ballou Hall is the single spookiest place at Tufts. Join us as we plunge into the monument to capitalism, single-ply toilet paper and hotter-than-average bathrooms that is Ballou Hall.
We once had a vision: find a bathroom so splendid it warrants a 30-minute walk, even if it just meant we’d get five minutes of glory. Alas, it was not to be.
