As a general rule, I don't care too much for bowl games. They're similar to mayonnaise in that vein. If someone thrusts it in front of me and insists upon supplementing my healthy sandwich comprised of college basketball, NBA and NFL with some BCS condiment, so be it.
I can do without college football's postseason. It has little to do with some feigned moral qualm or even the fact that I'd much rather see a playoff.
Checking out the sponsors is the only redeeming quality. Gone are the days of the Poulan Weed-Eater Independence Bowl or the Papajohns.com Bowl — named as such because the delivery boys weren't really on board. Obviously, though, their Internet people were gung-ho about it.
In preparation of the postseason, which kicks off on Dec. 18 with the New Mexico Bowl, let's size up some of the best sponsors:
Bowl: uDrove Humanitarian Bowl
What they do: The mobile business application became the sponsor on May 25, replacing Roady's Truck Stops. It's apparently some sort of business management for your cellular phone that allows truckers to log hours, track mileage and pop sleeping pills. Humanitarians obviously love trucks.
BCS-like stupidity: uDrove doesn't have a Wikipedia page. In that regard, it is not an official company.
Redeeming quality: Instead of an iPad or an iPhone, which makes the product seem selfish, they switched the vowels up and went with uDrove. Because it's all about the customer. How brilliant.
Nonsensical rating: 2 out of 5 horn toots
Bowl: Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl
What they do: They teach people … I think? Bridgepoint is one of those for-profit education companies that airs commercials, kind of like DeVry or ITT Tech.
BCS-like stupidity: There's nothing holiday-related about going to school. That's like Four Loko sponsoring an AA meeting.
Redeeming quality: Ashford University, a Bridgepoint subsidiary, offers a "women's studies major with a hands-on lab." Wait, that's just my fantasy.
Nonsensical rating: C-minus
Bowl: R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
What they do: Ship freights. Or freight-shipping. Is there a difference?
BCS-like stupidity: The Ohio-based R+L Carriers has yet to discover the ampersand. And it annually sponsors the National Tractor Pullers Association.
Redeeming quality: Between this and uDrove, I'm going to be the best trucker ever.
Nonsensical rating: 3.5 out of 7.2 &'s
Bowl: Beef ‘O'Brady's Bowl
What they do: Serve food, drinks and general merriment.
BCS-like stupidity: Their dessert menu has one item, a "Chocolate Eruption Cake." Their website says it's erupting with caramel; I'd prefer it to be erupting with beef.
Redeeming quality: A "Beef ‘O' Brady's Bowl" sounds like some sort of brilliant microwavable combination between Easy Mac and Chef Boyardee. Their website has Pac-Man. They have mini corn dogs. When I scrolled over the "Beef ‘O' Brady's" pennant on the homepage, people started cheering.
Nonsensical rating: 29 beef bowls
Bowl: GoDaddy.com Bowl
What they do: Attractive women.
BCS-like stupidity: The girls in the commercials won't make out with each other in the pool unless I visit their website and purchase a domain name.
Redeeming quality: If I buy their product, maybe the attractive women will make out with me.
Nonsensical rating: 9 out of 10 attractive women
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Alex Prewitt is a junior majoring in English and religion. He can be reached on his blog at http://livefrommudville.blogspot.com.
