Charlotte Steinway | SOS
October 2Dear SOS, Now that midterm season has officially begun, I've been spending a lot more of my nighttime hours in the library. On one of the few evenings I opted against staying for late night at Club Tisch, I started packing up all my belongings, when all of the sudden, all of the lights in the library shut off. I made it out in time, but that whole experience got me thinking — what would really happen if I had been locked in the lib? How would I pass the time until the 8 a.m. morning rush of students arrived? Sincerely, Trapped in Tisch Dear Trapped in Tisch, Funny that you bring this up, because intentionally getting stuck in the library overnight has been one of my collegiate goals since freshman year (it's right up with eating all three meals at Dewick on one card swipe). And I have yet to do it because I'm still trying to figure out how to stay for those critical last minutes before they lock up without having to hear the dreaded new voice recording, which, I might add, plays three minutes before it actually should. But this doesn't mean my ideas on the matter aren't plentiful. First, you're going to want to stake out a sleeping destination as soon as possible because otherwise, the Tisch Bigfoot may wake you. (In case you didn't know about this elusive creature, you should be forewarned of his existence. Resembling his more famed cousin, normal Bigfoot, the Tisch Bigfoot exists only in our library, rather than in remote forests and on the pages of the National Enquirer. Think I'm kidding? Last time I was studying at the library, I was greeted by a large, footprint-esque splotch of water on my table — looked like someone had gone for a little swim.) As much as I would suggest a comfy cubicle desk perfect for snuggling up in the fetal position, I would recommend going to the third floor for sleeping arrangements. That way you're out of sight of the windows (you wouldn't want to end up in the Police Blotter for your corrupt campout), and even better, you can use the cinema room, fully equipped with sleep-conducive chairs — trust me, I snoozed in those for an entire semester last year! Next, be sure to stock up on non-perishable nourishment at the Tower. Now that no one is around, you can finally be as loud as you want about eating those pita chips — oh yeah, and grab a cup, because it's unlimited refills night at the Tower, baby! Curl up with the Public Journal (my new favorite piece of literature … it should be required reading on every class syllabus), fashion a blanket out of newspapers from the periodicals section and take it easy. You're in for a long night. In the mood to do something active? How about playing dominos with the book stacks, James Bond style! Or play Jenga with library chairs in the quiet room! Interested in burning off some of that Tower Café nosh? Why not run up and down the stairs a couple of times for a little cardio, then head to the oversized books section to grab enough weight for some bicep reps. If you're looking for a little more of an arm workout, give those manually rolling book stacks in the basement a spin. Once you've decided it's time to hit the hay, you can retreat back upstairs with the excitement of knowing that you have a whole library of DVDs at your fingertips. But even if a movie can't put you to sleep, grab a bedtime story from one of the, uh, 700,000 books around you. Something like Lena Johnson's "Tajikistan In The New Central Asia: Geopolitics, Great Power Rivalry and Radical Islam," sounds like a fun end to your evening!
