Two weeks ago, I decided to re-download Tinder on a whim after promising myself I would never use it for anything other than my personal entertainment ever again. As always, it was entertaining at first. I “Super Liked” my friends, swiped right on people I thought were cute (but knew I would probably never talk to, then proceeded to awkwardly see them on campus) and got some corny pick-up lines. And all was well and fun until someone told me about how they were over their “disrespecting women phase,” and, with that, I deleted the app once more, more than a little freaked out that someone would tell me that in an initial conversation.
Again I limited my prospects to the circle of people I know and the people connected to them, but after that conversation, I no longer felt like I was missing out on other things. You would think in a space that is solely filled with people in the same age group that it would be easy to find someone that you would be interested in; but alas, it is not.
Tinder is stereotypically seen as a way to find sex, but some people I’ve talked to at Tufts have used it (and other apps like Bumble and Hinge) as an avenue to find dates and to try to find love. On the completely opposite side of the spectrum, many people just use it to play games or find a self-esteem boost. The issue with Tinder, though, is that it’s purely based on physical attraction, and in most cases, it’s pretty difficult to continue a conversation past “nice tits.” And in the rare instances that the conversation does happen to flow, odds are your match will just ask you to come over to have sex within an hour anyways.
Dating in college is weird because things happen slowly and quickly all at the same time. Two people can be hooking up for months and have feelings for each other but never call it anything, yet at the same time, people can go on a date or two and decide to become an exclusive couple. While these things are happening to other people, you meet so many people through different avenues, but nothing ever seems to line up the way you want it to!
People in our generation have trouble making their intentions known to each other because technology has become a curtain to hide behind. We often don’t say the things we need to in person, and instead we do it behind the shield of a text message because confrontation is stressful (not to say I’m not guilty of this, but I try my best). Because of this, a lot of us feel like something is missing; we really want real and deep connections! They shouldn’t be so difficult to find. Compliments from Tinder can momentarily fill that void, but the things that stabilize us come from being vulnerable and from the things that we do face-to-face.