I have to be careful writing these Daily articles for VOX. The last one I wrote talked about my ex−boyfriend's failed attempts to make me orgasm. My mom read it. Hi, Mom. So, in an attempt to reveal fewer personal factoids about myself, I'm going to reveal some that you readers admitted to. How, you may ask?
Were any of you approached outside Tisch on Sunday afternoon, heading to do your math homework when someone asked you and your friend to race to put a condom on a rubber dildo? Did you stumble across an image of a Kama Sutra position while hitting up the salad bar in Dewick? Did you pass the cannon, cloaked in a giant makeshift condom and wonder, "What is going on??"
Two weeks ago, the Planned Parenthood−affiliated campus group VOX hosted sexual education week. Among the many ways that VOX brought sexual education to the Tufts student body last week, we did some tabling at the dining halls to ask YOU a couple questions about your personal experiences of the sexual education that you received before coming to college. The anonymous answers range from laughable to recognizable to slightly disheartening. I promised myself I'd veer away from personal anecdotes here but when I myself tried to answer these questions, I was shocked to look back on middle school and high school and realize just how incomprehensive my sex ed really was. Can you relate? Here is a bit of what you and your fellow classmates were saying. I need to add a disclaimer that these are not my thoughts.
When asked, "What didn't you learn in sex ed that you wish you had?":
"I wish I had learned how to ‘spear' into the ‘dragon' in a way that is pleasurable."
"How to masturbate (nobody talked about that … taboo!)"
"I didn't have sex ed."
"We had sex ed in fifth grade and never again."
"I wish I had learned about more birth control options instead of just condoms."
"Proper clitoral stimulation," or, "Where and what is the clitoris?"
"I wish I learned how to put on a condom. I still don't know!" This was another incredibly common response.
"My school advocated for the unrealistic practice of abstinence."
"Definitely more about LGBT issues. I had pretty much comprehensive ‘straight' sex ed, but ‘gay' stuff was pretty much ignored."
"How to stretch the vagina in preparation for that tight first time."
"What does cum mean? Awkward question to ask the parents."
Then we asked, "What do you know now about sex that you wish you knew earlier?"
"There is more to a woman than her vagina."
"It's a big thing in college."
"Having sex releases chemicals for women that emotionally bond them to their partners."
"Boys can be very disappointing."
"Sex feels better without a condom."
"How much it would hurt."
"Blowjobs aren't as bad as most girls say."
"Oral sex leads to diseases too."
"You don't need to be in love to have sex."
"The female orgasm is important, and girls can and should masturbate."
"How the romanticized, idealized portrayal of sex in the media does not reflect the reality of what's happening."
"It's awkward, and queefinghappens."
"It's not evil."
"Younger people in good schools have STDs too."
And lastly, we asked: "What is the craziest thing that ever happened to you in sex ed?"
"Someone threw up while watching a child birth video."
"I did sex ed at a Unitarian Universalist church so the craziest things we did included making 3D models of genitalia from household items, and looking together at still images of porn from the '60s."
"Someone asked if it's OK for her boyfriend to take her birth control."
"My teacher asked for favorite positions. Some crazy terms were thrown out."
"Our teacher simulated different positions on a table. It wasn't pretty."
"Condom volleyball."
"Our male teacher put a maxi pad on his forehead."
"Our teacher put a magnum condom on his arm," or, "My health teacher put a magnum condom over her head."
"A girl in my class thought babies came out of belly buttons. She was worried about pregnancy ruining her belly button piercing."
"Sex ed was banned in my state," or, "What's sex ed?"
"My teacher would tell us about her sex life. It was scarring."
"In seventh grade, someone learned what a boner really was. He fainted and fell out of his chair."
And that's just the tip of the iceberg. It's amazing to see how very similar some of these anonymous answers were, from people wondering about how sex is "supposed" to feel, to questions about birth control, sexually transmitted infections or even just how to put a condom on. And a lot of y'all passed out in sex ed. It's my hope that even just through anonymous forums like these, we're able to turn sexual taboos into something that is OK to openly discuss and ask questions about. If your sex ed. teacher was one of the ones who spent most of the time putting magnum condoms on his or her arm as a demonstration, it's time to get to talking about real sex ed.
And finally, since I can't write a sexual health article without the addition of some shameless plugs for the Tufts VOX events going on, let me just say this: "Fornication 101." Not quite a class at Tufts yet, but on Oct. 26 in Cohen Auditorium, it will be, with speaker Megan Andelloux (familiar to many as "Oh Megan") returning to grace us with her presence for a third year in a row.
Last year, after such an amazing turn out during our "Oh OhhOHHH: Sexual Pleasure" event, Tufts won the Study Sex College Tour, competing against dozens of colleges.
This month Ms. Andelloux returns to speak to us about more carnal knowledge, comfort in awkward situations and hot safer sex behaviors, including ejaculation, g−spot stimulation, sexual positions and more. Are you coming?
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Kathryn Robinson is a senior majoring in English. She is the former president of VOX.