I was strolling across the quad on a crisp autumn day last week, when I reached a large group of prospective students. As I passed by, I couldn't help but pick up a bit of the tour guide's polished routine. He was mentioning something about how 635 percent of Tufts students go abroad junior year.
"How true," I thought, and it led me to ponder, "What are some phenomena I've observed at Tufts that the administration doesn't know about?" I bustled home and gathered with my roommates, seniors Brian Rowe and Jeff Prunier, and we huddled together in our ?sunroom? to come up with a list of our observations about the life of a Tufts student.
1. People are always better looking in the dining hall that you don't frequent.
2. You will never pay the same amount twice at Anna's Taqueria.
3. When hosting a party, you will never get paid back.
4. When there is a mugging, the suspect is always a hoodie-clad male between 5'10" and 6'2".
5. The dining hall food always improves when there are prospective students or parents visiting.
6. There is always one old man using the showers in the men's locker room ? can't speak for the ladies'.
7. You will always hit the red light on College Avenue while driving into Davis Square.
8. The most expensive books you bought can never be sold back to the bookstore.
9. When you need it, SIS Online will be down.
10. Brown and Brew is always cutting its hours.
11. The bananas in the dining halls are always bright yellow but somehow never ripe.
12. The Joey is always at the exact opposite point from wherever the Joey Tracker puts its location.
13. Eighty percent of college landlords are scum bags.
14. The pep band outnumbers the fans at every non-Homecoming football game.
15. The classes below you are always better looking than your own.
16. No matter how many times you vow to travel to Boston, you'll make it in no more than once a month.
17. Three different students will have as many opinions on the best burrito place. West Coast students will say they all suck.
18. This is a sad one: People come and go during your college years. You will pass them on the quad and suggest grabbing coffee sometime. It won't happen.
19. You will see approximately no Tufts appear el outside of Tufts/Davis.
20. As a freshman, you will think Wren is awesome. As soon as you move in, you will realize it is very much not.
21. Forty to 50 percent of morning class time will be spent doing the crossword or Sudoku.
22. JumboCash is stupid. It's money that can only be used at certain places, not incluing the liquor store.
23. The library, though the least appropriate place to socialize, is where you will find the most people you want to "socialize" with. But not the Ginn library ? that place is terrifying.
24. Ninety-five percent of students who are awake before noon on Fridays are freshmen in language classes.
25. Zero percent of things you did in high school still matter.
26. The combined attendance of the first, midterm and final exams for any course that meets in Cohen Auditorium will equal the cumulative attendance of all other classes.
27. Some people have terribly annoying voices. They will always try to lead class discussions.
28. The beers in Hotung are bought solely by students on their 21st birthdays.
29. There will be precisely one guy on the elliptical in the weight room, and he will be the squirreliest dude in the gym.
30. A handle of Mr. Boston is not a good idea.
