Dear SOS,
This summer, when I was going over my financial needs with my parents for my first year of college, they assumed I wouldn't need much cash because virtually all of my expenses would be provided for. Well, THAT was a mistake — I've taken a liking to Texas Hold'em Tuesdays with my hall mates, and lately I just haven't had the cash to buy in! How can I find a way to get enough money to support my gambling endeavors?
Sincerely,
Bettin' Broke
Dear Bettin' Broke,
First of all, I do not endorse any illegal activities like gambling, underage drinking or jaywalking, and I have neither partaken in nor gotten a ticket for any of the aforementioned offenses. Secondly, I hate to say it, but your parents were right. Have you and your freshman buddies learned ANYTHING in college? Oh Bettin' Broke, what a wealth of knowledge you must incur.
Welcome to the next four years of your life, during which you will soon learn to sustain a lifestyle consisting of Dewick runs, 15-page midterms, skunked Natty Light and the Tisch Library's comfy window-adjacent chairs. But before you even learn to navigate Professors Row, let alone the university gambling scene, you must be informed of the primary collegiate model of goods transactions: "The College Barter System."
The College Barter System (CBS) is a model that was established in the years before local settlements were able to legitimize and standardize pecuniary forms. Ok, fine, I guess that was just the normal barter system. Regardless, the CBS is an unspoken structure of transfers involving necessitated goods (i.e. textbooks, condoms, printer cards, etc.), mediated through a series of transactions among college students.
A prime time to test out the system is now. Because it's September, many a person will be on the hunt for new (read: non-moldy) furniture and appliances, and toward the end of the month, desperation sets in.
So if you were of the school of people who didn't contact your freshman-year roommate before school started, and somehow ended up with doubles of just about everything, look into getting rid of some of your junk through bartering. For example, say the kid down the hall is in dire need of an iron (he claims "metro"-sexuality … and you're not going to question it), while you, the king of the "I-Just-Rolled-Outta-Bed-Yeahhh-Don't-My-Wrinkles-Turn-You-On?" look, are looking to get rid of yours. Take a gander around his room, ask him what classes he has taken that he still has books from, and propose a trade.
If you're looking into making a big-ticket trade, you might need to familiarize yourself with the goods and services at the top of the barter totem pole. Automobile usage — whether primary (he gives you his keys) or secondary (he schleps you around and thus doesn't trust your driving skills) — is a key service, and even more so if you are a freshman. Volunteering to go to your early morning bio lecture to take your notes for you is another big trade, granted the note-taker has some degree of mental capacity and nearly legible handwriting.
And hey, if you're going to dabble in debaucherous acts like gambling, why not up the ante with a bartered good? I mean, I'm not a lawyer or anything, but to me, it's a whole lot harder to be proven guilty when you're gambling over an unlimited card swipe at the Jumbo Express candy bin than it is when you've got a pocket full of g's.
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Charlotte Steinway is a junior majoring in sociology. She can be reached at Charlotte.Steinway@tufts.edu.
