Potty Talk: Shower talk

Created by Asli Kocak

We’ve all been there. You sit down in class on a hot day, only to realize that you just don’t smell as good as you should. You can blame it on the weather or the hill, or you can take matters into your own hands with one of the showers nestled in some of Tufts’ bathrooms, a feature that’s oddly omitted from every tour.

Last week, we left you “enviously gaz[ing]” down from Miner Hall’s cavernous all-gender lavatory to the opulence of the SEC. This week, we bring you through the SEC’s main doors, down a set of stairs, past Kindlevan Café, down another set of stairs, through a set of double doors and down a hall to the glory that is the SEC’s lower-level, all-gender restrooms. Here are housed what can only be described as ‘showers.’

At first glance, the showers seem run-of-the-mill, but upon closer inspection, it becomes clear that they are run-of-the-mill. With standard twist-to-start technology and reasonably fast water heat-up times, they are only really notable for the veritable cornucopia of accessibility features they offer: a foldable bench for lounging, a metal railing and an emergency pull string, which we assume summons a Tropikale smoothie from Kindlevan.

Unfortunately, that attention to detail does not extend to the expected shower amenities, making us think that these showers might be purely decorative. The architects of the SEC did not think to include soap, shampoo, conditioner, towels or even loofahs, forcing smelly engineers to come prepared with their own shower accoutrements. 

Towels might not be necessary, however, as the bathroom does come equipped with an exceptionally strong Dyson Airblade V, which is intended for hand drying but could easily be used to dry the rest of the body. Just throw yourself against the wall and spin in circles until the hot air reaches every nook and cranny.

The newest STEM building is not the only one endowed with showers, however. In Lane Hall, a gymnasium-turned-oceanography-hub, you won’t even miss the towels because there’s literally no water in the showers in its downstairs gendered bathrooms. While these showers lack the SEC’s benches and Dyson Airblade Vs, one small dirty bar of orange soap lies lonely on the floor of the men’s shower.

We were elated to discover a mid-20th-century Voorhis Tiebout soap grinder mounted to the shower’s left wall, which would allow us to easily grind Voorhis Tiebout’s specialized soap bars into shreds for easy spreading.

With this, we call on The Tufts Daily to call on Tufts University to provide water and soap wherever — and whenever — there is a shower.

SEC Lower Level: 6.5/10 — Might just use the bench in here to enjoy my Tropikale in private.

Lane Hall Downstairs: 3/10 — If you want to shower here, bring a bucket.


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