Happy December, everyone! As 2016 winds down, so does Barack Obama’s presidency. And now that the sitting president has been a “lame duck” for about a month, President-elect Donald Trump is phasing himself into the presidency, while his sons are still wondering what lame ducks are and whether you can hunt them.
In the process of taking the reins from Obama, Trump has already begun ruining things. This shows proactivity on his part, since many people were under the impression that he was going to wait until he was actually in office to ruin things. Way to get ahead, Donald!
One thing he’s begun to ruin is U.S.-China relations. He did this by taking a phone call from Taiwan’s President Tsai Ing-wen on Friday. You might be thinking, “Why is this a big deal? I answer calls from numbers I don’t recognize all the time, and in my experience it has rarely led to war with China.” Well, the difference here is that Trump is the president-elect, and the United States has a formal agreement with China to never make eye contact with Taiwan when they pass each other in the hallway. By seeming to acknowledge Taiwan’s sovereignty, Trump insulted China. This led China to lodge a formal complaint, to which Trump responded with an angry tweetstorm. So, if you were wondering how the world’s two strongest nations were going to become enemies, the answer is: in 140 characters or fewer.
Another thing Trump has been up to is assembling his Cabinet. He hasn’t been doing an entirely bang-up job with this, which should not surprise anyone who has ever bought anything from IKEA. In fact, I’d venture to say that assembling a Cabinet of secretaries is a lot like assembling a kitchen cabinet from IKEA. I mean, you simply put those two pieces together, you put that thing in this thing, and damnit, you messed up and now there’s a white nationalist in there. Go back and look through the pictures and see where you went wrong.
Of the many questionable appointments Trump has made, the most recent is that of Ben Carson. Apparently, the fact that Carson grew up in a house in an urban environment qualifies him to be the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. Now that I know this, I’d like to publicly inform Trump that I am the proud owner of a 2006 Toyota Prius, and I’d therefore like to be considered for Secretary of Transportation.
If you’re sad to see Obama’s term end, just think about this: At least this means 2016 is almost over! And I, for one, am confident that 2017, the year in which Donald J. Trump actually becomes president of the United States of America, will be just peaches.