Along for the Ride

Now-a-days, it’s cool to hate Disney World, as it’s cool to hate anything from childhood. Why would you want to travel to a theme park? Wouldn’t you rather save up for a trip abroad? And even if you wanted to go on some rides, Disney’s rides are for children and are hardly illicit thrills. All true, but there’s something that all these arguments ignore: Disney World is a majesty for people who love storytelling and how narratives are built, in real time, around them. Disney rides have a distinct pattern to them, a method which they use to slowly immerse their audience into the world of the ride, and that is honestly half the fun. Nearly every Disney ride has a compelling plot, a reason why you are here and what your role in the story is. (Narrative designer for Disney World is, by the way, the best dream job I can think of.)

The reason people pay $100 or more for admission to Disney World is because they are paying for a small part in the story that they love. It’s the closest most of us will ever get to Tatooine, a NASA launch center or a lavishly decorated Victorian mansion. Disney World is the product of years and years of delicate planning to create infinitely detailed environments and plots. I’m not proud of saying this, but on occasion I’ve even walked through the line and watched the pre-show for rides I don’t even like, just because I want to immerse myself in that story and forget where I am for an hour.

On my last visit, I strong-armed my younger sister into driving four hours with me to visit Hollywood Studios, just to go on Star Tours, an older ride but the first step of Disney’s planned expansion of the Star Wars area of the park. The gist is that you’re an intergalactic tourist on a star liner piloted by everyone’s favorite R2D2, which our little droid hijacks to deliver a message to the Resistance. First there is the line, which basically no one in the history of eternity would ever think is interesting. But as you walk through the forests of Endor and into the terminal, you’re practically stepping onto a movie set. A 20-foot tall screen announces departures to Naboo, Tatooine, Hoth and other Star Wars locations. Overhead chatter announces gate changes and reminders. A clueless animatronic baggage droid scans and destroys harmless items while leaving clearly dangerous items alone in some bizarre riff on the TSA.

The pre-show video both explains safety measures and your “character” in the story, a hapless tourist charged with delivering rebel information. Then the ride begins, which is fun because it’s a box that shakes you around while you wear 3-D glasses. The Stormtroopers on the screen demand you hand over the “Resistance agent” and they display a randomly taken photo of someone in the cabin, usually a kid. Everyone laughs, C3PO panics and you make your heroic escape.

And only because of your efforts is the Resistance saved. You’re not just there to be jolted around in a box on hydraulic lifts for 4.5 minutes - you’re there because the Resistance needed you, and Disney made that fantasy real.