Happy Thursday, Jumbos, and welcome to the shortest week ever (seriously, blink and you’ll miss it). I think Elsa might have been a little pissed I called her last week, because since then she’s been throwing the tantrum to end all tantrums. And the result? Boston is buried under mountains of snow, no one’s been to a Monday class in weeks, and my feet are perpetually cold and soggy.

Normally I’m just a big a fan of snow days as the next girl. No class, what’s not to love? And now that I live off-campus and have my own fully stocked kitchen, there is absolutely no reason for me to ever leave the house. (Honestly, I barely even leave my bed except for carefully timed food missions). Oddly enough — and I know this is weird in and of itself — I’m definitely a morning person, but once classes are cancelled I’ll gladly sleep half the day away. I don’t mean to brag, but it is by no means an exaggeration for me to claim the title of Queen of Hibernation. My decorative pillow game is just off-the-charts amazing, and I can burrow into my perfectly accented throw blankets with the best of them. Yes, anyone can spend their snow day lazing in bed watching Netflix. But can just anyone spend their snow day lazing in an artfully messy, expertly color-schemed bed watching Netflix? I think not.

However, after five snow days in three weeks, I have to admit I’m getting a little tired of the time off, and not even because I miss my intellectually stimulating classes (is that sarcasm? You’ll never know). No, it’s more because with all of this hibernation and relaxation I’ve been doing; it’s sort of become my new schedule. Tisch? What is that? Class? You mean I have to leave my bed? Gym? You’re kidding, right?

There’s no other way to put it: I’m thoroughly snow dazed, and I’m sure many of you are as well. What’s especially problematic about this condition is that it batters down your defenses and leaves you vulnerable to all sorts of ailments, and I’m not just talking about the Tufts Plague and its like. A snow-dazed individual like myself is extremely suggestible and can be talked into ridiculous plans with only minimum effort, because no, taking an Uber to Tisch is not a good idea, and neither is Safe-Riding from Dewick to the campus center. The snow-dazed are also more likely to take a laissez-faire approach to schoolwork, which is not ideal; a hands-off approach is beneficial in many situations, like group projects and CPR, but is probably not the best method for actually passing Orgo.

And this may be a more serious ailment than even the Tufts Plague, mostly because there’s only one hard-and-fast cure and it ain’t pretty. The best way to get someone out of a daze is a good shock, and there’s certainly an ominous surprise looming on the horizon for all of us, and I’m not talking about a bucket of ice water. No, unfortunately it’ll be midterms that finally wake us all up, because there’s nothing like going from the cool relaxation of doing nothing to the heated race of cramming for three days. In other words: Enjoy your last few days of blissful ignorance, Jumbos, because the next few weeks are about to get real interesting.


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