SWUG Blowing Up on a Tuesday:
This blizzard is the best thing to ever happen to us, because we in love with the hot cocoa, and we get two SWUG days! No class. No internships. No interviews. No “What are you going to do with your life?” We are stuck inside our Target-decorated houses and forced to wear pajamas and watch Netflix all day. But in case binge-watching “Friends” (1994-2004) gets a little tiresome, here are some alternative SWUG Day activities to keep you preoccupied.
- The gym is closed, which means you have all the excuses in the world to not work out today. Butttt spring break is soon approaching, which means you gotta work that buttttt. Do some leg circuits in your living room while your oven preheats.
- Online shop for “half-price admission to wine tours in Boston” on Groupon and for a screw dress. Blizzards mean sales, people! What better time to spend your/your parents’ money than when you’re incapable of leaving the house.
- Invite over a cuddle buddy and “sleep.” Like all day. Just be careful … this storm is called Juno…
- Bake a batch of brownies the night before the snow day (or employ a friend to bake) and eat one of those brownies for breakfast. Good thing your Nana made sure that you went grocery shopping.
- Throw an Uptown Funk (2014) dance party in your basement. Canes and top hats: optional. Learning the dance: required upon entry. Oozing swag like Bruno: dependent on BAC.
- Do all the things you used to do on a Snow Day in elementary school but make them a little more age appropriate. Instead of pouring soda onto snow to make snow cones, pour your favorite adult drink onto snow to make things a little more interesting. Instead of just boring sledding down a hill, now try BLEACHER SLEDDING! Trek to Hillsides for something to give that hot cocoa a little kick. Take a sip every time your Tamagachi dies. Wonder if these are things your mama did every time you had a snow day growing up. Dial her up and ask.
- If you’re brave enough, lace up those snow boots and explore the winter wonderland of Tufts with your thermos and selfie stick. Make SWUG angels on the football field. Build an igloo to hide from your job applications. Take a cute new LinkedIn pic that says, “The cold never bothered me anyways.” Wear something skimpy under a onesie ski outfit and parade around Dewick. Ring Anthony Monaco’s doorbell and start a snowball fight.
- Read “Infinite Jest” (1996).
- Keep re-reading the first paragraph of “Infinite Jest” (1996).
- Give up and read a Buzzfeed article.
- Do a Dare Bowl and fill up a bowl with scandalous dares like: “Call your landlord and ask him if he received your January rent check” and “Update your resume on a job application” and “Call your grandparents and make sure they still have power.” SWUG blowin’ up on a Tuesday!
- Does Helen’s deliver in the snow? A research project!**
- Make a time capsule and bury it in your backyard in the snow. Two months from now, you’ll know exactly what you were doing during the blizzard.
- Ask me lots of questions!
Do you want to build a SWUGman?!
**Your favorite SWUGs tried #12. Helen’s doesn’t deliver during a blizzard. V upsetting.