I recently purchased a soothing cucumber nighttime eye gel. You may ask why, but I am well aware of the fact that it is a completely useless purchase. I have recently discovered that I have a problem — yes, my name is Pooja Sivaraman and I am a CVS addict. At first I thought it was a harmless problem. I indulged a little in the gummy vitamin aisle and dabbled a little in the purchasing of different types of lip balm (they all have such different effects, I swear). But then it turned into somewhat of an infection. I purchased a hairbrush lined with a cotton towel that claimed to dry your hair 70 percent faster. I also bought spray that makes your nail polish dry faster, on-the-go breakfast in the form of a milkshake and three extra large bags of post-Halloween candy. But you guys have to admit, there’s a certain thrill that comes from walking down the CVS aisles and finding all sorts of new inventions that you’re pretty sure were “Sharktank” (2009-present) rejects. I recently discovered that this problem seemed to stretch to other places — Starbucks, for example. We all know the Starbucks snacks are really useless, but give me an enthusiastic barista and suggestive promotional nudges and you’ll have me buying all of their birthday cake lollipops. So dear readers, if you have any advice for me on how I can get over this addiction, please let me know. It’s getting serious.
Dear NYSD, why does Kim Kardashian’s “Break the Internet” photo place so much emphasis on glazed donuts?
Pooja: So if you are an avid Google doc user like Rebecca and I, you’ll know that for a brief period on Monday night, Google docs stopped working, at least for us. After a couple minutes of frustration I realized that it was true — Kim Kardashian’s butt had literally broken the Internet and the dawn of the apocalypse now awaits. But in terms of glazed donuts, I was actually just having a conversation about how her photoshopped butt really resembles a Krispy Kreme donut. My apologies if that comparison has ruined Krispy Kreme donuts for you. To answer your question, my guess is that it’s probably because she is very over-oiled. However, I liked glazed donuts and would prefer to not associate them with Kim’s butt. She’s already broken the internet, let’s not let her break our appetites.
Dear NYSD, does Obama mean family?
Rebecca: As I surveyed the forum for a question to answer, I never imagined that I would stumble upon one as special as this. While I am unsure of any meaning of Obama aside from the last name of the President, I think I understand where this mix-up came from. As an eight-year-old, “Lilo and Stitch” (2002) was one of my favorite films. It was one of the first films that taught me a foreign language. I learned that “family” in the language of native Hawaiians is “ohana,” descended from the Maori word “whanau.” It’s an easy thing to confuse, Obama and ohana, and I cannot hold it against anyone, mostly because I recently learned that there is a “p” in the word “raspberries.”
Dear NYSD, will cheaters always be cheaters?
Rebecca: Growing up, my mom always taught me life lessons through expressions that usually dealt with animals or some sort of creature. After telling me she thought I was pretty, she would always follow the compliment with, “Every mother cockroach thinks her baby cockroach is beautiful. Have you ever seen a beautiful cockroach?” Though this seems harsh, her point was definitely delivered, so I am going to answer this question with a piece of my mom’s advice. A zebra never changes its stripes: A cheater will most likely always be a cheater. While there are exceptions, we cannot be optimistic to a fault. We can only expect the worst but hope for the best.