As I slowly arise from my post−Spring Fling coma with what feels like an army of West Virginia coal miners scraping away at the inside of my head, I'm realizing two things: 1) No one should ever put off any requirement until the day after Spring Fling, and 2) Seeing as the Daily finishes its regular publication today, it looks like, love it or hate it, I get the last word. Tough day, everyone else.
And with it, I'd like to make a couple last points, as well as clear up a few misconceptions I've been guilty of propagating in this column. 1. We've got a bit of a reputation here for having some of the fugliest students this side of Steve Buscemi. If you have been keeping up with my column, you'd think our faces all met the business end of a shovel when we were babies. Well, the other week I had the "pleasure" of traveling to both the University of Rhode Island (aka URHigh) as well as Conn. College. They have some people there who are mighty well put together, but after approximately 15 seconds of conversation, you want to stab them in the leg with a dining hall fork. Graphic, I know, but the point I'm trying to make is that Tufts people are wonderful, wonderful folk. As the spring sun comes back out, I'm remembering how superfly all of us are, too. Long story short, I can't imagine a more beautiful and substantive group of people than the Tufts student body. You are great! 2. On a similar sentiment, I've done a whole mess of ragging on our house for being a complete dinge rothole. Well, the other day I found myself thinking, "I'm gonna miss this complete dinge rothole." It was a weird realization, but appropriate. For the many folk who've shared a beer in our basement, you can understand my appreciation for the place. It's hosted some great parties and is literally impossible to trash any worse than it already is. And so, caved−in ceilings, demolished staircase, zero−insulation, basement suicide, decade−old pot−growing paraphernalia and all, I love the place. 9 Fairmount, TEMS− and roofie−free since 2010. 3. And while we're on the topic of 9 Fairmount, apparently it's not a good idea to publicize parties in the Daily. I've never seen so many people pour out of a place as I did last night when the cops showed up. For those who made it out, hope you had a good time, and for those who stuck around and filled it up again, couldn't be happier to share a drink with y'all. 4. While we're on the topic of yesterday, I was right. Spring Fling was great, and it didn't matter a flaming flipper that the Roots were playing. 5. There are some really great opportunities at Tufts, and standing to the side and laughing at them is a pity. For those of you who are getting involved in everything you can here, I envy you. You will all go on to live happy, successful, fulfilling lives. Maybe one day one of you can hook me up with a job. 6. Lastly, Tufts, you've been good to me. If I'd pulled the same shenanigans we've pulled here for the past four years in the real world, then there would probably be some delightful mug shot of me on the web wearing a transvestite redneck alien costume. Thanks for that. And now, though the party may be winding down, remember, there's always next year. The keg is dead; long live the keg!
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