The college fraternity party is an event unlike most others. At Tufts, we don't boast about our Greek life since, relatively speaking, there isn't much to boast about. My friends at Cornell or Syracuse scoff at our "Frat Row" (to us, Pro Row) and are confused that we don't have "DG" and "Kappa" as power players on our sorority girl social scene. But Tufts Greek life is indeed its own breed and has its own rules and etiquette. Don't worry; after only a few blissful evenings under the romantic black lights and the sticky, Natural Ice landscape, everything will be made apparent.
1. Don't get there too early: Sure, in high school everyone gets together around eight o'clock. If you show up at eight o'clock to a frat party, most brothers are expecting you just as much as they're expecting their Grandma Ida. Plus, brothers pride themselves on having the stingiest doormen possible; clearly this means their beer-stained and toilet-paperless house is the most elite. If you show up before they have assigned a freshman bouncer, you rob them of the chance to feel über important for this one night. More than anything, though, you will look stupid and out of place: harsh, but true.
2. Don't dance blindly: In more than one sense. First, be aware that the girl with the sexy, fitted jeans you come up to from behind could be your sister's long-lost twin from the front. Vice versa, not every guy who grinds up behind you is worth your music-video moves. Your entourage should help in guiding you toward whom or what you intended on finding (that is, so long as the blind dance has not gotten to them, too). Second, remember that everyone around you on the dance floor is not — well — blind. A certain number of on-the-dance-floor-makeouts (OTDFMs) are acceptable. However, certain activities should be left to alternative locations. Likely, you will make this mistake, and once is okay; if it becomes a habit, and it gets around that you're always DTOTDFM, it's time to move it to Haskell. Remember, this rule has two meanings: Pay attention to your dance partner and keep it PG-13.
3. Shower afterwards, ASAP: Before bed if you can. The amount of sweat, dirt and beer on your body is sickening. I realize that when most people hazily come through the door after an evening out, dirtying their sheets and pillows with the repulsive concoction from the 123 floor isn't a priority. In fact, rarely did any of my friends or I come home and rinse off when presented with the delectable alternatives of Moe's or Pizza Days. Instead, weekend night after weekend night, with blackened feet and greasy fingers, we climbed into bed and forewent the showers. I urge you to step away from the crowds and take my advice to heart. Your Sunday morning wakeups will thank me.
I haven't covered everything. Of course, that is part of the fun; some things are only worth finding out for yourself. These rules are meant to guide you through a shame-free and hygienic experience, the memory of which will last for years to come. Notoriously, frats tend to turn into messes: dirty messes and hot messes. You are bound to have plenty of wild experiences (the likes of which will never be allowed in a public news piece), so get excited. Remember, these potentially disease-ridden events won't last forever, so get 'em while they're hot and sweaty!
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Anna Christian is a junior majoring in psychology. She can be reached at Anna.Christian@tufts.edu.
