Skip to Content, Navigation, or Footer.
The Tufts Daily
Where you read it first | Thursday, December 12, 2024

Emily Maretsky | Nice Shoes, Let's Date

Admit it or not, most of us stress over and debate about relationship issues, whether it be through whispering during TDC rehearsals, getting advice from roommates or "doing work" in Tisch.

Breakups, hookups and the awkward-in-between-phase (or what have you) are interesting to gossip about while ignoring our textbooks, but we can learn a lot from relationships outside the Tufts gossip-bubble, too. And no, I'm not talking about splitting a bottle of wine and listening to your crazy aunt's dating stories.

Allow me to let you in on one of my favorite guilty pleasures. True confession: I'm a huge sap for the Weddings/Celebrations section of The New York Times.

Don't write me off just yet as a little girl with a princess fantasy — it's not about the marriage thing.

Ignore the handful of plain-old, boring wedding listings and focus on the longer (admittedly cheesy) feature stories on how each couple met and ended up walking down the aisle.

I see the articles as a sneak peek into the lives of people I'll never meet, from the feminist author who used to harshly criticize big weddings to the woman who wrote "The Rules" to a formerly homeless couple who tied the knot. These people make fascinating human-interest stories.

But of course, don't forget the relationship drama, or in this case, all the backlash and sociological dissection regarding these wedding articles.

Current Times columnist David Brooks devoted a whole section of his book, "Bobos in Paradise: the New Upper Class and How They Got There," to analyzing the newspaper's marriage announcements and their unequal representation of members of a particular social class.

In 84 percent of marriages in the Times, Brooks points out, either the bride or groom comes from an upper-middle class family and has a parent in the professional class.

He goes further, classifying all the brides and grooms as either predators (read: prestigious MBAs at top financial firms) or nurturers (former Peace Corps volunteers and elementary school teachers). Despite these distinctions, they are always overachievers who strive in their announcements to seem as accomplished as possible yet still "normal," down-to-earth and fun-loving.

Now, don't get me wrong. I realize that the Times' wedding announcements evolved from a WASP-y, elitist, society page for New Yorkers. The section tries to be meritocratic and attempts to diversify from its upper-class history, but it's still "the" place to brag about brand-name educations, bottom-rung financial jobs at prestigious banks,and daddy's latest Fortune 500 company takeover.

I get that. Peg me as one of Brooks' new yuppies, but if you look past the occasional posh vestige, the Times' marriage announcements offer insights and examples into all sorts of relationships, from high-school sweethearts to third marriages to the couple that broke up four times over 20 years and still managed to make things work.

I'm sure the editors are aware of the criticism they receive, too. They didn't neglect to cover Ivanka Trump's wedding this week, but the leading feature on Friday was an offbeat story about Regis Philbin's failed attempt to set up one of his show's production coordinators.

After later attempts at online dating, the poor coordinator in the story fell flat on her face while pulling out a picture of her dog on a first date … And you thought you had an embarrassing time? Just think, the woman in the story never thought the guy she went out with would call afterwards, yet three years later, he is now gushing about her in their wedding announcement.

--

Emily Maretsky is a senior majoring in engineering psychology. She can be reached at Emily.Maretsky@tufts.edu.