Ah, the first date — so exciting, yet often so nerve-wracking. Maybe you've been asked out, gotten up the courage to do the asking yourself, or perhaps it's just the follow up to the cup of coffee you grabbed after class last week.
But now what? What should you do on your date? How can you get to know this person a little better while still leaving a good impression?
Although a perfectly planned and executed date can't create chemistry, a good date can go a long way in your favor. And a good game plan gives the two of you an activity to do and something to talk about after.
OK, let's cut to the chase — I'll let you in on my top-secret, fine-tuned equation for date planning success:
Optimize the multivariable equation, 5A4(2B + 5)/10C3, using the method of LaGrange multipliers to find the points where the partial derivative is zero. Of course, "A" stands for the number of new things you learn about your date, "B" represents your outfit-to-shoe matching ratio and "C" is the total seconds spent in awkward silence.
Just kidding. Though it appears nauseatingly complicated, planning a first date isn't exactly rocket science.
Still, if you're planning the date, there is a little strategy involved. In my opinion, the best first dates are engaging ones that are enjoyable for both people. This is best accomplished by planning an activity you think that the other person would enjoy that also gives them a chance to learn something personal about you.
My favorite first date practically wrote the book on this one. Before I went out for the first time with a guy I met during my semester abroad, he knew little about me beyond the fact that I was an American student who had a little nerd-obsession with her Czech history class. And that I'm an "awesome" (read: hilariously awful) dancer. But I digress.
When he took me to the National Museum in Prague, little did he know that it had been a place I'd been meaning to cross off my tourist list for months. Not only was I excited to wander the museum, but I soon found out that my date was a history buff who was able to add his own personal narration as we walked though the new modern history exhibit.
The museum gave us a lot to talk about over coffee afterwards, and I was doubly impressed. First, it was nice to know that my date put a little thought into planning somewhere to go. Second, he was able to show off a side of himself that I didn't know, whether or not that was his intention.
One of my best friends always makes a face as I grin goofily while telling that story — she thinks my idea of a "good first date" is girly and formal. She would much prefer "sneaking a Big Gulp full of beer to candlepin bowling." That's totally fine, too, and the type of guy she would have the most fun with wouldn't plan a museum date anyway.
The point is, find something that the two of you would have fun doing — something beyond dinner and a movie can go a long way! If you don't like indie music, don't get tickets to see an obscure band just because your date writes for Melisma, but do put a little thought into what album you play when he or she comes over.
Last but not least, leave a little room for spontaneity. No one wants a date scheduled down to the minute, and a fun spur-of-the-moment twist can turn a bad date around or make a good one even better.
--
Emily Maretsky is a senior majoring in engineering psychology. She can be reached at Emily.Maretsky@tufts.edu.
