Cheeses of Suburbia: Dear Mozzarella, count me in

Zachary Hertz (ZH): This week, we’re with senior and senior citizen Mary Carroll, whose most pop punk moment came when she tried to burn her Catholic school skirt after graduation.

Mary Carroll (MC): I’d like to reiterate my disappointment that Trader Joe’s did not have mozzarella sticks because I worship at the altar of Trader Joe’s frozen food, and today it let me down.

ZH: Luckily we’ve been saved by ordering from Mike’s Food & Spirits.

Brady Shea (BS): They’re so well-defined! Impeccable shape, well-breaded and the stringiness is on point. If I gave the hotzerella sticks a 10, these are a 9.2/10.

ZH: They look and feel good, and they taste great: garlicky and juicy with perfectly soft cheese. I’m giving these 9.4. They’re everything I want from mozzarella sticks.

MC: That cheese pull, though. However, the sauce is a little watery. I also want to highlight the packaging of these sticks. It’s very charming. A on execution but I’m going to say 8.5 because they could’ve been hotter.

ZH: Sounds like these were an ‘All Time High’ for us. And now — All Time Low’s “So Wrong, It’s Right” (2007). This might be the only time I know something pop punk that Brady doesn’t: “Six Feet Under the Stars” is a sequel to an earlier song.

MC: What a title — whimsical, yet morbid.

BS: I love it. I constantly played the acoustic version from the deluxe version of the album in eighth grade.

MC: Yeah, if I heard this in the gym, I’d be super into it.

BS: “The Beach” is disgustingly pop punk. They’re talking about how they don’t want the summer to end while hitting every stereotype.

ZH: Romanticizing the past while criticizing Them with a capital T, doing so while somehow yelling and singing at the same time, all over heavy guitar chords — yeah, that’s pop punk.

BS: It’s not just the song. All Time Low hits every stereotype about pop punk. They’re like “F*** my town, I’ll eat this pizza.”

MC: That’s my vibe — maybe I should listen to more pop punk.

BS: “Dear Maria, Count Me In” is on every Spotify pop punk playlist — it’s All Time Low’s “Sugar, We’re Goin Down.”

ZH: It makes sense. It has an ear worm melody, and the song’s harmonies are simple but so satisfying.

BS: Yeah, the way that Juliet Simms belts on “Remembering Sunday” gives me chills every time.

MC: This music makes me want to drive more so that I can yell sing it alone while driving in the dark.

ZH: I’m more of a shower singer, but I get that. Overall, this album is a lot of what I like from pop punk but it also stays very safe. I’ll give it a 7.5/10.

MC: I liked the album a lot. It’s so 2007, which I appreciate in any art form. I’ll give it a 8/10.

BS: I love the album, but it’s actually my second least-favorite All Time Low album: it’s a little too much and cringey at times. It’s a 7/10 for me.


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