Night at the Sex Museum

Pooja: Since I am an only child, I was essentially born a third wheel. While Rebecca can actually claim to be a tricycle (she is a triplet), I was born as the add-on to a pre-existing relationship. So, it’s safe to say that I’ve gotten pretty good at it. During high school, I found myself on more dates with couples than with significant others. What’s worse is that I found myself liking those dates a lot more … However, this summer I third-wheeled a date so traumatizing that it may have just been my last. When hanging out with a certain friend of mine (obviously not the co-writer of this column … I have other friends) and her boyfriend in Manhattan, we passed the Museum of Sex. I had been bombarded with ads for it on the subway, and the effective marketing got the best of me. A word of advice to readers, whether you are experienced or new to third wheeling, going to a sex museum with a couple is NEVER a good idea. The looks of pity, disgust and, sometimes, even fear persisted from the time we paid for tickets to the moment museum staff had to make an exception to allow an “extra” onto the Boobie Bouncy Castle. My take away from this experience is that, while third wheeling can be fun, it is probably best to avoid all date-related activities that include the word “sex,” “boobie” and “bouncy” in the name.

Dear NYSD, So, is this a sex column?

Pooja: You just read my using the word “boobie” multiple times in a published column that potential employers will find when Googling my name; I really hope for the betterment of humanity and journalistic practices that this is not a sex column.

Dear NYSD, My belly button burns. Help.

Rebecca: Wow, reader, this does not sound fun. I know what it is like to deal with itchy or burning skin. Growing up, I suffered from terrible eczema. My mom used to call me “Eczema girl” or tell people that I had “alligator skin.” This is the same woman who refuses to brag about her children because “every mother cockroach thinks her baby cockroach is beautiful, but have you ever seen a beautiful cockroach?” My mother is the kindest but most honest person I have ever met, which means my eczema must have looked as bad as it felt. I recommend using Aquaphor by Eucerin -- I regard it as a cure-all. That said, NYSD should not be your only source for medical advice. You should check out health services.   

Dear NYSD, DO YOU FEEL THE BERN?

Rebecca: As Pooja cannot vote, I will answer this. Yes. Bernie Sanders is a Jew from Brooklyn. As a half Jew from Brooklyn/Queens, hearing him lament about inequality in his Brooklyn accent feels like home to me. My family friend, a professor at Brooklyn College, was recently discussing Sanders and mentioned that he had attended Brooklyn College before transferring to “some no-name school in the Midwest.” That school was the University of Chicago … Clearly Brooklyn College did not take the loss easily. But, yes reader, we at NYSD feel the Bern.  

That’s all we have for this week. Keep sending us questions to our Google Doc or TUFTSNYSD@gmail.com!