Top 10 things to do with all this f–king snow

Well, folks, Boston has broken its record! The Pats may have won the Superbowl again (which was awesome), but that’s not what I’m talking about. This February, Boston broke its record for snowiest and coldest winter month ever. Although we love to play in the snow — making snow angels (or angles, if you’re into math) and skiing are wonderful activities — there’s just too damn much of it right now. So what do we do with it? Here are our Top 10 suggestions for what to do with the snow.

10. Make snow cones and sell them.

It’s the best business model. I don’t know much about economics, but I do know that selling something that you got for free leads to profit. Just try to find a clean patch of snow, please.

9. Ski down the piles of snow on the side of the street.

I don’t mean just skiing down the pile onto the sidewalk. I’m talking skiing along the entire side of the road, cross-country style. Just find an old pair of skis that you don’t mind destroying if you hit the sidewalk — or even two large slats of wood. You’ll never have to walk to class again!

8. Use the snowmelt to grow a garden.

We’ve been having a few warm days here and there, which has been great if you want to plant some flowers. They might get completely demolished once the next storm comes, but for a few days you might see a pretty little … stem.

7. Play hide and seek.

All this snow is EPIC for a game of hide-and-seek. Anyone could dig a hole and fit snugly into it for a long while. The only drawbacks? You probably won’t find anyone. There’s a lot of snow to sift through. And then the hider will probably have a brush with hypothermia if their commitment to the game is intense enough. You know what? Let’s just scratch this idea.

6. Make igloos — snow is a great insulator (fact!), so it’ll also be useful for surviving those sub-zero temps.

Okay, this is a little better. Instead of making a sad hole in the snow by yourself, make a fancy snow palace with friends! Snuggle up in an igloo to keep yourselves warm when it returns to the record cold temperatures. And then decorate the igloo and throw a party!

5. Write messages in paint (or other colored substances) in the snow.

Snow paint is the new form of graffiti. Instead of writing poetry on the Tisch bathroom stalls, write it in the snow instead. It’ll eventually melt, but let’s be real, it would get painted over otherwise.

4. Throw snowballs. Always.

Come on, how else are we going to get rid of so much snow? If we all just take the time to throw a little snow at each other, we can more equally and effectively distribute it and melt it. Come to think of it, we would probably help out the school a lot if we just had a giant snowball fight! (A&S vs. engineers anyone?)

3. Use it as a cooler.

If you’re 21+ and throwing an off-campus party, don’t bother trying to stuff all your beer in the fridge. Just stuff it in the snow in your backyard and you’ll be okay.

2. When the sun comes out, TAN!

Snow reflects up to 80 percent of the sun’s UV radiation (fact!) so when the sun comes out, camp out somewhere outside and soak up the rays! It’s just as good as going to the beach … right?

1. Enjoy it before it all turns into ice.

There’s this thing that happens where snow melts in warm weather — and then the cold comes back and freezes all the water. Tufts will turn into a skating rink. Which is good if you skate, I guess … but not if you drive. So for now, enjoy the fluffy (and sometimes crunchy) white stuff because it won’t last forever!


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