How does a SWUG celebrate Valentine’s Day?

Stop! In the name of SWUG.

Stop! In the name of SWUG.

Ugh, Valentine’s Day. Last year on Feb. 14, my mother sent me an article about the rise of STDs on college campuses. Happy Valentine’s Day to me!

For some, Valentine’s Day is a day of gagging and avoiding the opposite sex, and for others, it’s a day to celebrate finding love in a hopeless place (a frat basement). Celebrating this day varies greatly depending on your current romantic situation.

If you’re single on Valentine’s Day, there are two options here: You can be repulsed by all things Valentine’s Day, or you can celebrate Galentine’s Day (thanks Leslie Knope) with your girlfriends.

Implementing the first option isn’t unreasonable. It can be tempting to hate all things love-related on this day, since your single-status is basically being shoved down your throat. It’s hard to avoid all things red, pink and heart shaped, especially if you frequent the interweb. Get off the grid for a day. Turn off your phone, laptop and eyes. Sit in a dark room for 24 hours, until all of the Valentine’s Day chocolate at CVS goes on sale.

Option two is a little less depressing. You might be single, but you’re not alone on a deserted island. Go out and celebrate the other loves in your life: your friends. Have a lovely sit-down dinner at The Pub (a tradition of this SWUG), where you can shovel fried cheesy foods and wine into your mouth all night long. Nothing says “love of my life” like a mozzarella stick.

If you’re in a complicated situation:

You’ve been hooking up with someone for a few weeks. You talk pretty frequently and see each other on the weekends. You haven’t yet had a talk about being exclusive, or where this is going, but it’s no longer a random hookup. Oh, young love. Sound familiar? Valentine’s Day can either be really awkward timing, or the perfect excuse to turn this hookup into an exclusive chocolate-buying buddy. Gauge their interest in seeing you this weekend. Do they want to hang out with you on the days leading up to Valentine’s Day, or even on the actual day? If yes, then make them a mixtape and order them a heart-shaped Helen’s pizza. This one’s a keeper! (Until one of you gets bored.)

Or is your sort-of lover ditching Tufts for the long weekend, and not interested in seeing you so close to this ridiculous holiday? In that case, order yourself a heart shaped Helen’s pizza, and see above about celebrating Galentine’s Day with people you can whine (and wine) to about how much people suck.

If you’re in a relationship:

Congrats! You’ve got someone to share in all of the sappiness and gift-giving of this weekend! You’re a helpless cog in the consumer machine that is Valentine’s Day, and you secretly love every minute of it. Use the long weekend as an excuse to turn Valentine’s Day into a four-day marathon event of presents, dinners, romantic comedies and declarations of love. Piss off all of your single friends by running every gift idea and dinner option by them. Buy a six-foot-tall teddy bear and keep it in your common room. Live it up and enjoy your time being SWUG in love! But please, please, please keep the annoying instas and FB posts to a minimum. Nobody wants to scroll through dat.

In the (close enough) words of Tay Tay, “It’s a SWUG story, baby just say yes!”

SWUGS and Kisses,