We at the Daily Arts department understand how important good online distractions are. Buzzfeed, the online “publication” known for its simple and oftentimes bizarre quizzes, pseudo-articles and news lists, has been drawing critics for years. Buzzfeed manages to produce insane amounts of content every day, content that grows progressively more and more irrelevant. So, as we sit around the Daily office, we have decided to share with you a definitive list of Buzzfeed’s most idiotic attempts at journalism in order to prove to you that nothing really matters. If this is the best we can do as humans, we should probably all just give up right now.
10. “Is This an M&M or a Skittle?”: OK, ready? This is a quiz. They show a picture of the back of an M&M or Skittle and ask you to tell the difference.
9. “If Taylor Swift Lyrics Were About Hair Removal”: Someone got paid, like, a fair amount of money to look up weird stock photos of people being waxed which is totally messed up because we’ve been doing that for a really long time for free. WTF.
8. “Watch This Soccer Fan Pick His Nose and Then Wipe It on a Woman’s Head”: The page links to a grainy video of a soccer fan who picks his nose and then wipes it on a woman’s head.
7. “Are You Secretly Canadian?”: I don’t need to take the quiz, Buzzfeed. No, I’m not secretly Canadian. Go home … you’re drunk.
6. “Here’s What Happened When a Co-Worker Asked This Guy to Watch Her Plant”: TELL ME. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD — I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
5. “17 Things Every Vegan Must Eat in Glasgow”: Next list: “20 Things Every Loafer-Wearing Kale Addict Must Do in a Parisian Bathroom.”
4. “21 Problems Only Hurdlers Will Understand”: Are there REALLY enough hurdlers to warrant the existence of this list?! I bet all none of the hurdlers shared this list with all none of their Facebook friends who hurdle.
3. “12 Reasons Megan Washington Is Essentially All of Us”: Seriously, who the hell is Megan Washington?! How is this allowed?!
2. “What Teens on TV Look Like Compared to Teens in Real Life”: Is it different? I bet it’s different. Also, I bet you’re gonna use that slidy side-by-side picture thing. Ugh, that thing’s the worst.
1. “Which ‘Twilight’ Character Are You?”: -____-