With news that David Letterman will step down from his post as the host of “Late Show With David Letterman” (1993-present), rumors about potential successors have been flying around. We in the Daily Arts Department have our own opinions on who could best fill the long-time host’s shoes.
10.) An oil painting of Vladimir Putin: Former President George W. Bush recently unveiled a portrait of the world leader that he painted himself, and the strong chin and proportions of his Putin would offer a commanding presence.
9.) Stephen Colbert: The faux-conservative Comedy Central host would have to leave his lauded position over at “The Colbert Report” (2005-present), but his new role would certainly rejuvenate “Late Show” with a younger audience.
8.) Craig Ferguson’s gay robot: Who better to host a program loved by the elderly than a homosexual animatronic human corpse? Geoff Peterson (Josh Robert Thompson), the beloved animatronic skeleton from Ferguson’s “The Late Late Show” (2005-present), could add that missing edge factor to “Late Show.”
7.) Dina Lohan’s dog: What late night television is really missing is Lindsay Lohan’s crazy mother’s pampered pooch.
6.) The ghost of Philip Seymour Hoffman: With the fantastic actor’s recent and untimely death, many of us were left wanting to see more of that incredible “Shut up!” scene from “Punch-Drunk Love” (2002). Who says his ghost couldn’t inject a sense of spirituality into “Late Night?”
5.) Banjo, the ostrich: Do you really think they took that thing to be cleaned? Come on, people! The infamous French starlet has been groomed to become a late night talk show host, ready to discuss pop culture and schmooze with celebrities.
4.) Hodor: The “Game of Thrones” (2011-present) character (Kristian Nairn) has been carrying Bran Stark (Isaac Hempstead-Wright) around on his back for a few years; who’s to say he can’t carry a popular television program, as well? HODOR HODOR HODOR.
3.) Conan O’Brien’s contract: Admittedly, this one might not work out so well. We all know that thing can’t sit anywhere for longer than a few days.
2.)Paul Shaffer: Letterman’s sidekick and musician for over 30 years? Who better knows the program than Paul? In fact, the two might as well just switch seats from now on.
1.) A top-10 list: Go for the meta option. Letterman’s popular segment is one of the most successful parts of his show. Why not allow it to be all of the show?