Remember the show "The Brady Bunch" (1969−1974)? Of course you do! It was on Nick at Nite after episodes of "Hey Arnold" (1996−2004), "Catdog" (1998−2004) and other horribly deformed cartoon characters. And do you remember the character Jan? Of course you don't! She was the bespectacled middle child who forever lived in the shadow of her older sister, the super−popular Marcia. Other than the time Marcia got hit in the face with a football and her nose swelled up, Jan could never compete for the spotlight.
That's kind of how I feel about the upcoming "Snow White" movies. I'm sure at this point most of you are familiar with 2012's "Snow White and the Huntsman" (SWATH); its trailer has been on the interwebs for a couple weeks now. SWATH gives us a radically new take on the classic tale with intense scenes of slow−motion swordplay. Charlize Theron, who plays the queen, hasn't looked this good since her role as Rita on "Arrested Development" (2003−2006). This slick trailer manages to make Disney leftovers sound pretty appetizing.
To say that I'm excited by SWATH is an understatement. It has a dark, epic quality that I haven't seen in a while. Ever since my "Sleeping Beauty" (1959) birthday party, I've long harbored a secret love for Disney princesses, and this film seems to legitimize those dubiously masculine feelings.
Unfortunately, I can't say the same about the other "Snow White" film, "Mirror Mirror" (2012). Directed by Tarsem Singh, "Mirror Mirror" seems geared toward children — ironic given the mature quality of his recent blood−drenched movie "Immortals" (2011). "Mirror Mirror" stars Julia Roberts, who, as a middle−aged queen, comes off as a fantastical reject of the TV show "Desperate Housewives" — a far cry from Theron's femme fatale Queen. The trailer is filled with gags and at least one Bollywood dance. This movie includes dwarves, but they seem to spend most of their time spewing moronic banter.
If I sound biased toward SWATH, it's only because I am. But these two films should not be directly compared. Although both deal with the original Grimm fairy tale, they are radically different films. But for better or worse, the comparisons are inevitable.
This awkward phenomenon of film doubling happens with surprising frequency. Oftentimes, rival film companies have already invested so much money in their project that they refuse to surrender. The result is a cinematic game of chicken, with each studio changing the release date in order to prove to viewers that its iteration is better. "Mirror Mirror" was supposed to come out in June, but its distributor wisely upped its release to March in order to avoid any chronological confusion with SWATH, which will be released in June. Sometimes, a movie will be shelved until viewers forget about the competing film, which was the case with the Truman Capote biopic, "Infamous" (2006).
If you recall, the family comedy "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" (2009) came out a mere four months before pitch−black comedy "Observe and Report" (2009). Both dealt with overweight mall cops; one featured rape, heroin and references to "Taxi Driver" (1976), while the other made fart jokes. And do you remember the small, minimalistic film "The Illusionist" (2006)? Within months, another "magician" movie, Christopher Nolan's "The Prestige" (2006), filled the theaters. But all of these movies are separate entities. Just because they have similar plots doesn't mean they should be compared.
Earlier this year, casting was announced for two separate biopics on porn star Linda Lovelace. In one corner, we have MalinAkerman starring in a project tentatively titled "Inferno." The competing film, "Lovelace," is more complete from a casting perspective. Starring Amanda Seyfried and costarring James Franco and Kate Hudson, "Lovelace" is more likely to see the light of day. But who knows? As they say in the porn industry, more is always better.
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