We all got really excited about the recent release of "The Lion King" (1994) in 3D, but our enthusiasm over that particular bit of childhood nostalgia forms the rare exception to the rule. We're hoping the 3D trend doesn't catch on any more than it already has; here are 10 good reasons why it shouldn't.
10. Everything: Like we said, we really kind of hate 3D. That aside...
9. "Ordinary People" (1980): Nothing like an acute analysis of family-psychological tensions to make you indifferent as to whether or not Donald Sutherland's nose is protruding from the screen.
8. Anything with Tyler Perry: God, please no more Tyler Perry.
7. "It's Complicated" (2009): Actually, it's not that complicated. It's just a lot of old people having a lot of old-people-sex. Old-people-sex leaping out at you from a screen.
6. "Basic Instinct" (1992): The famous Sharon Stone crotch shot might be too risque in 3D, even for current day standards. Expect a spike in Blu-Ray sales at the hands of every teenage boy ever.
5. "Justin Bieber: Never Say Never" (2011): 3D + 3D = 6D? The fabric of time and space can't handle a sixth dimension of Bieber.
4. "Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus" (2010): This low-budget slaughterfest stars Urkel as he's caught in the crossfire of a megalodon-prehistoric crocodile death battle… Wait, on second thought, this would be epic in 3D!
3. John McCain's concession speech: Whether this would draw more attention to the relief of McCain's defeat or his face is up for debate.
2. "Grey Gardens" (1975): Losing a family inheritance and all of your hair is bad enough. Losing it in three dimensions, with a healthy side of fecal matter, is unendurable.
1. "Golden Girls" (1985-1992): Enough said.
-- compiled by the Daily Arts Department
