If you happen to be taking any classes at Tufts — and I'm assuming some of you might be — the past month has been somewhat unkind to you.
Heard of midterms? Probably. October tends to devolve into a month−long slew of tests, evaluations and papers that promise sleepless nights and endless conversations dominated by challenges to one another's workloads. You claim you had two exams on the same day? I see your two exams and raise you an oral presentation and a 12−page research paper!
Faced with this kind of academic stress, what did the student body as a whole choose as the best kind of coping mechanism? Adorable animal videos.
Don't deny it. I saw you in Tisch watching hedgehogs eat carrots instead of memorizing the orbital paths of planets for Astronomy 10. Definitions of "studying hard" in the Rez resembled something closer to "hardly studying" while watching videos of puppies fall asleep. It is a justifiable escape from the horrors of academia because, quite honestly, baby animals feed the soul in a way that multivariable calculus never will.
The more pressing topic, though, is the increasing number of videos featuring animals doing things better than humans can. Born into some kind of egotistical, human−centric mindset, I am alarmed by the impressive and tremendous talent exhibited by animals of all kinds now surfacing on the Internet. I watch these rival species, and I am convinced that we will see a societal backlash against our human−dominated culture, spearheaded by the most organized non−human organisms.
Doubt my claim? Direct your attention to YouTube and feel the fear most readily generated by the following videos:
While Willow Smith's song "Whip My Hair" gained immediate Internet recognition with her colorful music video and suave dance moves, her parrot counterpart earned similar fame for obvious reasons. Any 10−year−old girl with an ounce of creativity can drop a single that lands at the top of music charts across the country. It takes an especially talented parrot, however, to match the dancing prowess of this young singer. Parrots are not born with rhythm, but this little guy made it look like he was hair whippin' in the egg. Parrot beats Willow by a long shot.
Though a monster is arguably not classified as an animal, Grover's "Sesame Street" remake of the famous Old Spice commercials is arguably more skillfully executed and impressive than the original. True, Grover's Muppet body in a towel is less attractive than those of the men featured in the original advertisements, but his klutzy charm and educational goals make his rendition all the more enjoyable. What's more, his art is pure — he doesn't muddy his performance with the underlying goal of selling body wash. Grover is a true artist of dizzying ability.
Serving as the crown jewel in the pantheon of animal talent, the dancing Merengue dog has no competition in her arena. Executing the moves of a merengue with the ease of a classically trained ballroom dancer, our canine friend puts all human dancers to shame. This dog overcomes evolutionary boundaries — namely, the tendency to walk on all fours — to leap across the crowded parking lot to the beat of the song. She even goes so far as to disguise herself as a human with her sparkly dress. This promises an inter−species confrontation!
Perhaps my certainty in this cultural revolution spearheaded by able animals is a product of my own post−midterm malaise, but the threat is there. We as humans are increasingly outperformed by the "lesser species" of our world, and our culture is suffering as a result. Let's just hope Willow has what it takes to bring us a victory.
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Madeline Hall is a sophomore who has not yet declared a major. She can be reached at Madeline.Hall@tufts.edu.
