From the Office of the Tufts Daily

Dear Insane Clown Posse,

How’s it going, Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope? Congratulations on your recent mainstream “success!” The hipster corners of the Internet have been exploding with ironic, detached enjoyment of your “horrorcore” brand of hip hop and your crazy, exuberant fans, the Juggalos. “Saturday Night Live” even parodied your new video for “Miracles,” a contemplative ditty in which you marvel at many of life’s joys, including giraffes, magnets and childbirth.

We really admire your amazement at things you call “miracles,” which are really just natural occurrences that science explained centuries ago, like “f–king shooting stars” and “f–king rainbows after it rains.” In Monday’s New York Times Arts Beat blog post about the Juggalo parody phenomenon, Violent J, you said, “To me, I’d rather be the dumbed-down guy appreciating everything than the guy who knows everything and doesn’t appreciate s–t.” But as disillusioned college students, we’d like to add another dimension to the discussion and share some things we’re completely neutral about.

Like being asked to choose between paper or plastic at the grocery store or whether or not to accept a receipt from an ATM. And what about “CSI” and the films of Ridley Scott? We could take or leave hot water and saltine crackers. And our Div. III Tufts Athletics. (Go Jumbos?)

Maybe you guys can connect with your new hipster audience and just be, like, totally blasé about magnets in your next single. Next year, you might be seeing a lot more Wayfarers and fancy scarves at the Gathering of the Juggalos.

Don’t try to thank us for the career advice. The wisdom is free.

The Daily Arts Department

P.S. Your music is just awful. Like, irredeemably bad. Sorry.