Birthdays are funny things. By design, they're celebrations of the passing of one more year of your life, which is actually an unhappy occasion if you think about it. But the intent is to make merry because ... well, you're another year older and you're not dead yet, so that's pretty sweet.
Really, birthdays are fun and good-natured until you're about 17; then, they start to take on all sorts of meta-meanings and bring with them existential crises and other goodies that you could probably do without. Let's take a trip through birthdays from 18 to 22 -- the "college years," if you will -- to see what exactly goes on in the mind of a young adult as they get more adult and less young. At least we're supposed to...
The 18th birthday, which actually is more frequently seen in senior year of high school, is all about being "legal," a phrase that doesn't really mean much in or out of context. No one was "illegal" before 18 -- now, you can just vote and be considered an adult. One might think that this would bring with it a new sense of responsibility, a coming of age, a dawning of reason that tells the newly 18 year old, "You're not a kid anymore, so it's time to stop acting like you are."
Instead, the appropriate reaction to being a legal adult is to buy cigarettes, buy lottery tickets and get drunk, even though the law stupidly dictates that the last part is still illegal (you can't be trusted yet, duh). Besides that, the 18th birthday is really just a big sham. Nothing changes; no one looks at you any differently, except maybe your freshman-in-high-school sycophant friends who now want you to buy them smokes.
After the big shock of the 18th birthday is over, the 19th is a perfect time to be completely lost. Lost not only as to your purpose in the world, but you're with new friends in a strange place and you sure as hell aren't ready to admit you miss the comforts of childhood. And what's the best way to deal with this high-minded quandary? Get drunk. Really drunk. Absurdly drunk. Pants-on-head-retarded drunk. Because you're in college now, dammit, and no one tells you what to do.
On the eve of your 19th birthday, you probably sounded (or will sound) something like this:
"Woo college! No parents! No bed times! You guys are my best friends for life! I'm so lonely..."
The 20th birthday is a good birthday, probably the best of the college years. You're not yet old enough to legally drink, but things make a bit more sense than they did last year, and you've finally sorted out who your real friends are and (more importantly) who you are. Turning 20 is usually celebrated with a toned-down version of the previous year's festivities, sometimes even with something as simple as gathering of friends and a few bottles of wine or perhaps a movie.
What's wrong with turning 20, then? It smacks you square in the forehead with the riding crop of reality, and then proceeds to inform you that your childhood is officially over. Even though you probably recognized earlier than 20 that you weren't a kid anymore, the official deadline for filing your adult papers is your 20th birthday. Your 20th walks up to you dressed in a bunny costume, looking all cute and harmless, then punches you in the gonads and says, "Congrats on 20 years; now, when you screw up, it's your own damn fault," leaving you once again lost and in pain.
The 20th is the most underrated of college birthdays, and perhaps birthdays at large. It brings with it the dawning of maturity that 21 has come to symbolize, but without the stupid by-law of alcohol consumption that comes with actually turning 21.
Here is a (somewhat clichéd but extremely true) piece of advice from someone who used to be 20: spend that year doing a lot of thinking. Think about what you want to do with your life, what your goals are, what matters to you, and most importantly, don't waste all your time thinking that when you turn 21 and can finally drink in public, everything will become clear. It won't, and you'll just be out of luck and one year behind where you could have been.
When 21 arrives, it's welcomed like grandparents at Christmas: with open arms and a bottle of gin in hand. A lot of people talk the talk about their 21st birthdays, but surprisingly few walk the walk. By the time you're 21 you've already done the whole "Woo I'm drunk, that means I'm having fun" thing, so you just go out to a nice bar with some friends and have a few G&Ts -- nothing too insane.
A few days after 21, it hits you. "It" is this: You have gained all you can gain simply by existing through time. At 18 you get your rights, and at 21 you get booze. Sure, at 25 you can rent a car, but who really cares? From here on out, anything you receive on your birthday will either be something physical and ephemeral, or something you yourself worked to achieve (physically, mentally, spiritually, whatever). Simply existing will yield no more benefits.
So do yourself a favor and start working on your wish list for the 60+ birthdays that come after 21.
