One of my English professors says that the entire act of reading or watching a story is sadomasochistic. You want to see the characters happy … but at the same time really can't wait till the next horrific turn in their lives. I'm starting to feel that way about the state of the country.
Now, truly and logically, I want to see Obama win the election. I'm pretty sure that if he were to lose, the event would be the final nail in the coffin of the American Dream. However, I cannot help but imagine the cultural renaissance that might occur if we were to get four years of McCain, if our country were to go further down the rabbit hole and the economy to sing its swan song.
Let's begin with the very simple stuff: Never has the news been sharper, more exciting, at times depressing, yet leaving me waiting with baited breath for the next installment. It's everything that "24" used to be and more. Forget Jack Bauer, it's all about Rachel Maddow. Journalists may hate Bush, but he's starting to seem like the first Terminator as opposed to McCain's far more deadly, shape-shifting T-1000.
And what about our comedians? Could you imagine what "The Daily Show" would be like were Barack to become our commander-in-chief? Sure, we might still get a few great moments, but once Dubya leaves the office in January, it will be like when SD-6 was taken down in the middle of season two of "Alias" (for those of you who don't get this reference: shame on you). Poor John Stewart will be a hero who has finally gotten what he wanted: his villain vanquished once and for all and the triumph of good over evil. Except, stories usually tend to end after that part … until the sequel. Will "The Daily Show" have to go into retirement, only to return like King Arthur in our country's greatest moment of need?
As for "Saturday Night Live"… let's just say Tina Fey's Sarah Palin has put me in a moral dilemma. On one hand, the fact that we live in a country where that woman is probably the third or fourth person with the greatest chance of becoming president makes me physically nauseous. On the other hand, it's almost okay just because every second of Fey's impression is pure rapture. For the first time in years, "Saturday Night Live" is not only watchable, but something I'll go out of my way to watch.
Then there's the economy itself. Sure, depressions suck. But just stop and think of all the cool stuff that came out of the Great Depression! There's the Golden Age of Hollywood! And the creation of the superhero and the rise of the comic book! And don't forget Bonnie and Clyde! How awesome were they? I mean, isn't it about time we had another attractive, fun-loving band of outlaws roaming from one end of the country to the other? And, best of all, when we're old and going senile, we can complain to our grandkids about how tough we had it growing up! Heck, we may soon be able to start complaining to our own grandparents with the way the economy is going!
There you have it. While I can totally understand the desire for things to finally start going right, for Obama to win and get us out of the hole dug by the last eight years, and although I support the cause about 96 percent, I am simply asking you to stop for a moment and think about what will be lost in the process. A moment of silence, folks.
--
Devin Toohey is a senior majoring in classics. He can be reached at Devin.Toohey@tufts.edu.
