Since it's been announced that Tim Burton's next film will be a reimagining of "Alice in Wonderland," starring, of course, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter and, surprisingly enough, Anne Hathaway, we here at the Daily got to thinking: What other classic inspirations could his delightfully sick and twisted mind come up with? What follows are just a few of the infinite possibilities.
10. "The Lorax": Dr. Seuss's message against industrialized society is right up Burton's alley, and who wouldn't want to see Johnny Depp as a two-foot-tall furry creature railing against the evil Once-ler? Hey, they might even be able to re-use that Freddie Highmore kid that was Charlie in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (2005).
9. "Hop On Pop": Another Seuss classic, the whole point of this book was to inform children that sometimes it's OK to hop on Pop. The only thing we fear is that if Burton got his hands on it, it would become some strange pseudo-sexual thriller, with Pop doing the hopping…
8. "Hansel and Gretel": This would be the feel-good movie of the summer with Burton at the helm. That is, if Hayden Christensen could be tapped to play Hansel. That's what you get for messing up "Star Wars," you jerk.
7. "The BFG": Ignoring the fact that Roald Dahl's psyche was hideously scarred by his most interesting childhood, Burton's take on the tale of the Big Friendly Giant and a little girl could be perfection. The kicker: Yao Ming as the BFG, Rockets jersey and all, and the proportions would be appropriate for Depp as the little girl (come on, he could grow out his hair...).
6. "A Series of Unfortunate Events": So for all of you who hated the Jim Carrey version, why not replace Carrey with Johnny Depp as the evil Count Olaf? Maybe now he will actually be evil and scary, rather than just a buffoon in a bunch of different disguises. Plus, imagine how cool the castle would look after having gone through the mind of Burton.
5. "The Giver": Burton would take out all the ambiguity: The kid dies in the end. In the snow. In the dark.
4. "The Sound of Music": Burton's "Sweeney Todd" (2007) reaffirmed his love of musicals, so why not have him take the reins for a remake of this family classic? Sure, Helena Bonham Carter might be a twisted take on Julie Andrews' melodic nun, but we'd sure love to see her twirling about the mountainside, her hair in that permanently windswept (or electrified) do.
3. "Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase": We all agree that Nancy needs to be less perky — put Helena Bonham Carter in peroxide and add gratuitous creaking staircase effects.
2. "The Little Prince": This cute little story has tons of potential, but St. Exupéry's illustrations leave a little to be desired. First, have a snake actually eat an elephant and there will be no confusion pertaining to hats. The little asteroid could also use a few more volcanoes, and replace the flower with a scantily-clad Carter. Even if "the essential is invisible to the eyes," can't it be both? I mean, this is Tim Burton we're talking about!
1. "Where the Wild Things Are": If anyone could bring the dark, fantastical world of this children's bedtime tale to life, it would be Burton. The big dispute would most certainly be: Animation or actors? We're for the latter, as it might lead to Johnny Depp in a large furry suit...