Gentle Reader,
Welcome to Hearts on the Hill, a bi-weekly advice column where I answer your questions about all things love, dating, relationships and more. Thanks for being here. Stay a while.
You might be wondering, what makes me qualified to have this column? Who knows? I guess they really do let anything slide in journalism these days. When you think about it, what makes any one Tufts student more qualified than another to give advice of the romance variety? Well, I have survived almost four years of small-school-Medford-Massachusetts-liberal-arts dating culture. Surely that counts for something.
In all seriousness, my knowledge is, in part, fictional. I grew up an avid reader of romance books. There probably doesn’t exist even one ’90s romcom I haven’t seen. If my advice ends up failing you, we can all blame the surreality of mass media and the unrealistic capitalist notions of love.
Outside of my affinity for the fictional, I love a good old-fashioned healthy gossip session. I can quote any episode of “Gossip Girl” by heart. And I’ve just finished the sixth and final season of “Sex and the City” — just in time for our first Friday together. You might be gathering that perhaps this column is more for me than anyone else. By submitting your queries, you are all helping me live out my inner Carrie Bradshaw fantasy.
Alright, it’s time to put my money, and my pen, where my mouth is. To start us off strong, today we are talking about the most universal feeling of all — yearning. Let’s see what a few of you have to say.
YEARNER #1: “YEARNING. I feel like everyone around me is getting in a relationship. And I’m single. And just wanting more love and connection, including with friends! Wanting more hugs, more attention, more care.”
YEARNER #2: “I’ve never been in love. I feel a little insecure about the fact that I’ve never had my first kiss, never gone on a first date, never held hands romantically. I’ve never been the person to have a million friends and a significant other. Advice!”
YEARNER #3: “Yearning for connection. I want someone to go to bakeries with, cook and bake with, play games with, go for (slow) runs with, or study with. I don’t understand… How are people finding their people? I go to events, I have chats, but can’t establish connections or find who to hang out with for fun. Can you advertise me? Pls find me to hang out if you have somewhere to go/something to do and don’t wanna go alone. Anything. I wanna meet more people. I want an exciting semester.”
I think the plethora of connection-seekers in our first round of responses speaks for itself. The desire for love is universal. None of you are alone. And we should be talking about this more.
Yearner 1, embrace that single life! A solo date can be life-changing. Yearner 2, everyone is on their own timeline. I know it’s frustrating, but don’t lose hope. Yearner 3, let’s be friends! Existing with your own energy in public is powerful. You never know when a good book and a Sink table might strike up conversation.
Perhaps some context would be helpful. You have all just survived the first week of a scary month in Boston. Or Medford, I should say. You’ve gotten through wind chills, black ice, slush roads and early sunsets. Be easy on yourself! Connection can come at any moment, sometimes when you least expect it. Bundle up and keep your head held high. See you in a couple weeks.
With love,
Julia
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