You know what they say: Save the worst for last. Be prepared for some heart palpitations from this week’s Sink nature drink — the Oblivion.
The name for this drink is quite fitting. As next semester and a new slate of columns fast approaches, these weekly reviews may drift off into oblivion (unless I can get someone to carry on my legacy). It also fits well with the ominous onyx-like color of the beverage.
If you’re a normal person and have never ordered this monstrosity of a drink before, it’s made up of drip coffee, espresso and chocolate. Yep, you read that right: not a drop of milk in sight.
For my well-established tummy issues, I knew from the get-go I would not be able to finish one, let alone two, of these drinks. So, I ordered the iced version (small of course) and got a good friend, Tufts Daily Managing Editor Matthew Sage, to purchase the hot version and allow me to take a sip. He got a medium — it was 3 p.m. The barista literally said “Godspeed” as they handed it to him. Needless to say, he did not get the best night’s sleep that evening.
The three minutes and 42 seconds of wait provided the perfect amount of time to dread taking my first sip, and what a sip it was. This drink caused me to see memories that weren’t my own. I saw myself sitting on a bathroom counter with a chocolate scented bar of soap in my mouth after getting caught saying a medium-level swear word.
I could have appreciated the subtle sweetness of the chocolate but it was almost completely drowned out by the bitter and earthy flavors from the combination of coffee and espresso. I am saddened to say that a Sabrina Carpenter pun can do nothing to save the rating of this concoction.
While I usually enjoy drinks that have a strong taste of coffee or espresso, the simultaneous presence of both tanked my opinion of the Oblivion.
The difference between the hot and cold was miniscule, but since the scent of the hot rendition was far more potent, it manifested a much richer drink. And in this case, that bodes better for the iced alternative.
If this drink is a regular for you, I’d suggest seeing a cardiologist or maybe calling up Ears for Peers — just for a little chat to see how things are going. I finished perhaps a quarter of it, and I felt my hands shaking while I was doing my problem set later that night.
While this drink was not my favorite, as always I had a blast writing about it. Thanks for tuning in, and don’t let finals send you into Oblivion.
Always brewing the best reviews,
Dylan Fee
