This past weekend, I attended a concert in the Crystal Ballroom of Somerville with a friend. Much to my chagrin, he elected to leave before the opener even stepped foot on stage, citing other commitments. It was then that I knew I had a topic for my column.
Every day, we are asked by others to make commitments. Whether it’s meeting a friend for lunch, completing a group project or even just going to class, the day exists in a contractual form — all activities are a series of agreements that one undertakes with others, or even themselves.
After witnessing my friend walk out of an event he purchased tickets for and was excited to go to, I realized that personal commitments, promises you make to yourself, are the most important commitments of all. If you cannot trust yourself, who can you trust? If you cannot rely on yourself, who can you rely on? By not showing up for the best part of the concert, my friend demonstrated that he could not trust agreements he made with himself.
Whether it’s going to the gym, cooking yourself dinner or going on a run, upholding commitments to yourself is important. If you cannot make time for yourself, how are you going to make time for people you care about or issues you care about? A poll found that each year, 59% of people ages 18–34 make New Year’s resolutions, while 53% of all New Year’s resolutions last less than four months. Breaking these resolutions can result in anxiety and damage to one’s self-esteem. We undertake a form of “mini New Year’s resolutions” — goals we set for ourselves each day. Breaking these likely hurts us as well.
Showing up for oneself is important, as it establishes a baseline from which one can show up for others and form communal bonds. Research has shown that those who lack social and community connections have a two to three times higher risk of death as opposed to those who have these connections.
Compared to what has been previously released in this column, this article may seem less related to the environment. However, this serves as an example of how saving the environment just might result in saving oneself, too. If you can stay consistent with yourself, you have demonstrated that you can be trusted to commit to something. If you completely disregard your wants and values, how are you expected to care about larger issues that may persist? If my actions show that I hold little regard for myself, how can I hold regard for future generations in terms of environmental issues? Why would I plant a tree today if I know I will never reap the results — especially if I cannot trust myself to plan the tree in the first place?
The little things matter. To create a culture of commitment, it must be represented on every level. Go to the gym if you say you are going to the gym, do that homework you promised you would complete by class and go to the concert you told yourself you would go to. Only after proving that you can show up for yourself can you begin to show up for others.
