There are countless things in life that just take time. When I first arrived at college in the bustling area of Medford/Somerville, I was impressed with the university’s private campus embedded in a public suburb. The T lines, buses, cars (that arguably drive too fast), bikes and everyday people zig-zagged between the paths of college students alike. Once my parents departed with hugs and some wise words, it was off to orientation and the next chapter of my life. However, I do not recall the typical things one might remember. Instead, I most vividly remember an orientation leader who mentioned something I now recall daily.
One intersection on the Tufts campus, distinguished by white cross-hatching and a plethora of orange hands telling you to “WAIT!” presents a challenge to all students. Laboriously waiting the five minutes for the busy cycle of cars will surely make you late for your class in the Joyce Cummings Center or add unexpected time to your gym routine. So, naturally, the orientation group wondered how one might overcome this obstacle. Would you really wait an eternity to cross the road? Would you risk getting flattened by an MBTA bus during the cycle? Could you possibly find an alternate route? This mentor of mine finally exposed the solution to our dilemma. She simply said, “you’ll learn.”
It is important to recognize that things in your life will require patience, and trust in yourself to have that patience. Things will evolve and improve, whether tangible in the moment or not. Over time, you will learn. With this vague statement at my disposal, I was left unsurprisingly dissatisfied; my orientation leader really expected us to “learn” not to get hit by a bus. Reluctantly, I accepted her advice.
I began my first day with an early-morning run. Making my way down the steps of Metcalf towards the JCC and turning the corner onto College Ave, I reached the predestined intersection. As a novice campus-goer, I obediently waited the few minutes for the light to change, observing students with more experience making the harrowing trek across the road. Was it calculated crossings? Desperate measures to shave off a minute? Or was it just a natural product of time? I repeated the message — you’ll learn. Days and weeks passed, yet I remained timid in doing what many others had done. It seemed I was the only one who hadn’t adjusted, as if the intersection had it out for me. Controlling the cars and buses and people, the intersection was consistently waiting to hinder the fluidity of my day. Perhaps it was for the better. My mentor did say, “you’ll learn,” after all.
With each day, the pattern of cars grew more familiar. At certain points, I could tell how long I would have to cross or predict where a car was going based on its speed. I knew to start crossing the moment a light turned red, check for oncoming traffic and continue walking. I naturally learned all of this not even by trying, but simply by taking my time. It took two months to learn the cycle of traffic, that a “WAIT!” hand wouldn’t stop my progress, and that my mentor’s advice was indeed correct.
All that being said, it is easy to overlook the importance of taking your time in a new chapter of life. However, I believe that this simple advice serves as appropriate guidance for any new experience, skill or goal. We are quick to jump to the conclusion that we aren’t good enough, seasoned enough or worthy enough to accomplish something. We fail to give ourselves time and we fail to trust ourselves; being busy shouldn’t always be a badge of honor. Instead, we need to remind ourselves that we will learn. While there are certain things you cannot do no matter how much time you put into them, there is exponentially more that you could do with a little patience. Psychologists say that higher degrees of patience yield more progress toward people’s goals, and they provide more satisfaction upon achievement. When the people around you seem impossibly proactive, when your performances aren’t reflective of your efforts or when you instinctively deem something to be outside of your abilities, take a second to remind yourself that it always takes time. Things will work out, so trust yourself. You will learn.
