I’m from Chicago — and that is real Chicago. I’m not one of those fools who say they are from Chicago and end up actually being from Glencoe or Evanston. (Just for clarification for all those who just recently left the college application process, Northwestern and UChicago are both NOT in the ‘real’ Chicago.) Also, I know that it’s surprising, but I am not from O-Block; I have not met Chief Keef nor King Von, and I have neither ‘colors’ nor a ‘sign.’
With that being said, having lived in the best big city in the United States — voted on by Condé Nast Traveler and many other outlets — I thought I had the necessary knowledge to cross a busy intersection. In fact, Chicago holds the accolade of housing some of the most dangerous intersections. However, I was in no way prepared for the intersection located between the Joyce Cummings Center and the Science and Engineering Complex. The continuous flow of cars, semi-trucks and buses and an overabundance of depressed and anxious students who are looking for any way to not do their next computer science assignment do not make a good combination.
Anyway, for this publication, I plan on unearthing my old list style and sharing some tips I learned from my freshmen experience — including how to jaywalk across the Cummings intersection. Now that I am a sophomore and have an entire year behind me, I feel more confident about sharing my tips and tricks. I can direct this publication toward all you freshies who are running around in packs as if y’all’s heads were chopped off. I’ve seen lots of jeans and Tufts memorabilia amassing on the Reservoir Quad and Boston Ave trying to find a party.
Here are some tips for both you headless freshies and anyone else who is still mixing up Bromfield and Braker (I still do that):
WALK FASTER.
There is a Tufts tradition where if you are talking loudly in Tisch, everyone gets to beat you up.
Surprisingly, fanny packs, birks with socks and Hogwarts attire are allowed on campus.
Professors require all students to ask permission to use the restroom, especially in bigger lectures.
The average Sink order takes 30 minutes. Tea only takes 20 minutes.
We often applaud and honor Tufts Dining staff when seen out and about.
Sunil Kumar loves impromptu tea times at the Gifford House. BYO tea bag.
Make sure you alert your RA about ALL illegal endeavors/items within your peripheral vision. The student with the most tattle-tales in each dorm receives $200 in Jumbocash at the end of each semester.
Grunting at the gym is highly encouraged. It shows true grit.
You do not actually need a wristband for frat parties. Proudly state your name, pronouns and major to the brother at the door, and you are in!
The off-campus housing search for junior and senior year starts after the end of the first semester! Make sure you find a group of 10 random students and start your search.
The friends you make at orientation are going to be your life-long friends with minimal, if any, conflict or drama!
Dewick will cure your IBS or any other intestinal concerns you may have.
There you are, freshies. I hope you all get settled in soon. Freshman year is a tumultuous time full of both the happiest and worst moments of your life. But in the end, you’ll look back fondly at your old dorm, Tisch roof and your overall naivety and wish you could go back. Enjoy your first year here at Tufts, and try not to get too anxious or scared. We were all freshmen once. But please do try to learn how to jaywalk through the Cummings intersection — do not get hit and die :).
Wishing you all the best,
Ben Rachel
