Think of one first-year dorm at Tufts. Picture it in your mind in great detail — the outside, the common room, the bathrooms, all of it. What dorm were you thinking of? I am willing to bet money that you did not just picture Hill Hall (unless you are a current resident).
Maybe it’s the location, or maybe it’s the outside appearance, but Hill is not a particularly iconic building at Tufts. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s the absolutely horrendous kitchen inside that led to the building’s demise. I was warned about this kitchen, but I thought, “how bad could it really be?” I decided to head over to cook up a classic: grilled cheese with tomato soup.
It was awful. As soon as I walked into the miniscule kitchen, I was met with the smell of rotting compost. Okay! Strong start for Hill Hall! I hoped that there would be some redeeming qualities later down the line … this was a false hope. Take this as foreshadowing.
First and foremost, the kitchen was so small that having just four people inside was a tight squeeze. I appreciated help with the cooking process, however it led to many “excuse me’s” and “sorry’s!” When I was chopping up my ingredients, I turned around to the other side of the kitchen for more counter space, but I was fooled — there was no other space to be found.
Needless to say, Hill did not score well on the functionality front. In addition to the tiny size, one of the burners on the stove did not work and the trashcan was located outside of the kitchen.
The sink drain was clogged and it filled with water upon every use. Nothing about Hill was designed for convenience. If I could give it negative points, I would. And this is my column, so I will.
In terms of cleanliness, Hill was okay. The all-white countertop was covered in small bits of crumbs and crust, and the fridge had orange juice that was so far expired that it more closely resembled apple cider than OJ.
For supplies, Hill was giving me nothing. Aside from three dining hall bowls that someone had left behind and a bottle of dish soap, the space was barren. I wouldn’t have been surprised if a tumbleweed blew onto the countertop.
Vibes is a tough category for Hill. On the one hand, the small space captured the electric vibes easily — just a few people was enough to fill the space with laughter and good energy. On the other hand, if you have more than three friends joining you, they simply will not all fit. There is no sitting or standing space in this kitchen, unless you are willing to post up on top of the fridge.
Overall scores:
Functionality: -1/10
Cleanliness: 6/10
Supplies: 2/10
Vibes: 5/10 (the pros and cons cancel each other out)
Recommendations: Shrink down to the size of Matt Damon in the Netflix hit film “Downsizing” if you want to comfortably fit in this kitchen with your friends. Consider bringing a sledgehammer to get a head start on the remodel that this kitchen so badly needs.
