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The Tufts Daily
Where you read it first | Thursday, October 31, 2024

Potty Talk: The chosen potty

In honor of Passover, the Jewish festival of digestive problems, I have taken it upon myself to review the bathrooms of Tufts’Jewish community at Hillel.

AMBIANCE

The most notable element of the bathrooms here are signs that hang above the toilets that read, “Our aim is to keep this bathroom clean, your aim will help!” and “Please wipe up floor and seat, if you miss.” These papers are mainly disturbing because they are found on a college campus, where most people are meant to be adults, and I can only imagine the kind of event that must have preceded the posting of these signs. They make the bathroom feel slightly hostile, which, in addition to the uninspired decor, merit this bathroom a 3.6/10 (although I must admit that the toilet was remarkably clean).

PRIVACY

The problem with the privacy in these bathrooms is that on a regular basis there are people in Hillel doing work but not making very much noise. Given the proximity of the bathrooms to the front desk and some of the workspace, this may raise the concern that those just trying to sit outside can hear everything going on in the bathroom. I am quite confident that this is not the case, but the thought just could not leave my head. These somewhat unfounded concerns get the Hillel bathrooms a 5.4/10 on privacy.

CONVENIENCE

Not amazingly located for trips around campus, but well located if services are running a little long. 3.6/10.

HOW MANY THINGS DO I HAVE TO TOUCH

These bathrooms really have a remarkable number of touch points. First, the lights are not automatic, so there is a good chance you will have to touch the light switch. Then, you have to open the door to the stall that is in the bathroom and lock that door because you want to feel safe behind multiple layers of locked doors just in case you forgot to lock the main door (for more on this type of bathroom, see my ASEAN review). The lock on the stall door is a small metal nub, and you may need to attempt to touch multiple times before successfully locking.

Next, the sign above the toilet raises the possibility that you may have to get down on all fours like it’s musaf on Yom Kippur and start wiping up the floor with toilet paper to ensure cleanliness. Once you are done with that, neither the sink nor the soap are automatic, and then the greatest sin of all comes in drying your hands. There is no hand dryer — just paper towels. This paper towel dispenser is operated by turning a small piece of metal that pokes out the side. You have to crank it in order to get the paper towels to flow, and the metal has been ground down over decades so that it feels rough and grimy. 1.8/10

Outdated Hillel gets a low but auspicious score of 3.6.