Transferable Skills: There's no midway point

We’re at the fifth iteration of my column and more than midway through the semester. In the past few weeks, I’ve shared a part of my personal struggle and talked about self-compassion and relationships. There is much more I’d like to talk about, from habits to internships to parent-child relationships, and there will always be much more to talk about. Because that’s the thing — in a column there is a midway point, a word count and a bevy of editors making sure you don’t mess up. While I often wish life were more like writing this column, life is far from that.

Life is messy and nonlinear. Life occurs where ambiguous thoughts fluctuate, vulnerable situations emerge and authentic growth is hard. Life contains suffering, and it’s a part of what makes life special. I’ve struggled for many years (and still do) with these themes of ambiguity, vulnerability and authenticity. But they are, in my opinion, ingredients to a well-lived life.

This brings me to my next point. To get to this next stage of my life — to achieve greater comfort with ambiguity, learn to embrace vulnerability and reflect on what authenticity means for me, I’d like to turn to mindfulness. You’ve probably heard about mindfulness a lot. Studies show it can mitigate clinical depression, improve behavioral self-regulation and help with cognition.

Mindfulness is something that we often hear about, but it can be hard to pinpoint exactly what it is. Here is a definition that I love by Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction eight-week program: Mindfulness is “the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally.”

I love this definition because it’s simple and demonstrates so much of what I (and I’m sure others) can personally think about: 

1. Awareness: We are unaware of a lot of things — how people perceive us, what our blind spots are and what’s really the cause of something.
   1. Action step: Taking the time to get feedback about your blind spots and biases can help you achieve your goals.
2. Attention: We allow our attention to be distracted or divided too easily, resulting in frustration, disconnection and reduced productivity.
   1. Action step: Reflect on your media and technology consumption. What is working for you and creating real value in your life, and what isn’t? Think about ways you can remove the things that aren’t. 
3. Purpose: We hear about the importance of having purpose in our jobs, careers and lives. Why is it that we do what we do, and how does it give us meaning?
   1. Action step: Read “Designing Your Life” (2016) by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans. They say it better than I ever could.
4. Presence: We are called human beings, yet so often we are doing. What would it take for us to be present within our bodies and surroundings?
   1. Action step: Try yoga or something that makes you engage your mind and body.
5. Judgment: We as humans have evolved to judge, but harsh judgment of others and ourselves can do more harm than good.

Action step: Read the third iteration of my column, “You don’t need to swim in self-pity.” Self-pity often comes from self-judgment.