Just stop. Jayson Tatum is not better than Ben Simmons. Stop the homerism and hold onto this thought. Every October, basketball fans emerge from their hibernation like the first tinges of dew lightly coating the morning grass on Tufts’ Residential Quad. They traipse through the dew and find themselves with wet feet, now fully committed to the season and all of the storylines attached to it. And boy are there enough stories to put Aesop and his fables on notice.
Kawhi Leonard, a consensus top-seven player who changed the Spurs on his boots in order to ride not stallions but dinosaurs, felt like an afterthought this summer. DeMarcus Cousins signed with the Warriors, which is the equivalent of adding a fifth moat around a castle — very much a “what the hell, it’s impossible enough already to beat them” move. LeBron moved to Hollywood and built an all-meme team around him featuring JaVale McGee, Lance Stephenson, Rajon Rondo and Michael Beasley.
Boston fans maintain their usual arrogance, with good reason, too. The Patriots are rolling, the Sox find themselves back in the World Series (talk to me about that at your own risk) and even the Bruins are good (the Revolution aren't doing too hot, but you probably don’t care). The Celtics have championship expectations for the first time in a lifetime, but in Boston lingo, that translates to the lifetime of a dog.
I noticed a wave of those vintage green jerseys and shirts take over campus on Tuesday night. Sprinkled among these was Garnett's No. 5 and Pierce's No. 34, but I was surprised to see more of Jayson Tatum’s big fat 0 than Kyrie Irving's No. 11. Who is this guy? Isn’t he like, my age? Is he secretly a Tufts student in his spare time? Am I going to suddenly bump into him and his 6’ 11’’ wingspan on campus?
So why hate on the kid in the last 150 words I’ve left myself in this column? Well, maybe because I’m jealous that he’s most certainly everything that the Knicks’ Kevin Knox could be if absolutely everything breaks right.
Tatum, a soft-spoken father and Duke attendee, certainly has all of the tools to be successful. A confident scorer and efficient shooter, LeBron gave the young Celtic his seal of approval in saying he’s “built for stardom.” He’s ready to take over the league, as he did against the 76ers in last season’s playoffs. He’s Ty Lue’s cousin! Tatum is long, lean and a scoring machine, and he certainly has a flair for the dramatic dunk, having posterized LeBron in the Eastern Conference Finals.
I’ve left myself no room to critique. Hmm. Apparently, he’s off limits in trade talks with Anthony Davis, a Pelican who deserves a bit more than the Bayou can currently offer. Tatum — 15.3 for Player Efficiency Rating (PER) and 13.9 points per game (PPG) last year. AD? 28.9 PER and 28.1 PPG. I’m no numbers man and I know the brevity here is insane, but chill out guys. Take Anthony Davis and have your title. Stop playing the long game, this isn’t “the Process” (Joel Embiid mic-drop).
The Anti-Bostonian: The case against Jayson Tatum ... right now
