I spent this summer up in New Hampshire working as a loon biologist for the Loon Preservation Committee (LPC). Yes, that is a real thing. The LPC has been around for over 40 years now and hires several loon biologists each summer to monitor the entire loon population of N.H. It was such a sweet job; I basically kayaked around in the sun all day.
Like most migratory birds, loons arrive in spring and breed in the summer. They spend their winters on the ocean, but breed on lakes throughout the northern United States and Canada. Some will arrive on lakes as soon as the ice thaws, which can be as early as March, but won’t breed until May.
Loons are extremely territorial and will mercilessly defend their breeding territories against other loons that are audacious enough to enter them. Historically, scientists assumed loons mated for life since their site fidelity is so high, and the same pairs seemed to be returning to the same lakes annually, but banding data recently revealed the inaccuracy in that assumption: If one individual of a breeding pair does not return to the same lake, the other individual will either not breed or mate with a new loon. There are also cases where the male of a breeding pair gets defeated and replaced by a younger, stronger bachelor loon. Loon fights in general are gruesome, for they try and swim underneath each other to stab each other with their razor-sharp bills until defeat or death. Those inspired by love rank among the bloodiest encounters experienced by birds across the world.
You may sit there reading this and think, “My goodness, such barbaric creatures loons are!” Easy with the judgment there, kiddo. Are we really that different? Sure, we don’t swim underwater and stab each other with knives; at least, I hope no one does that. And sure, maybe the intention of the loon is less inspired by love and more inspired by sex, but the bottom line is that aggression inspired by love manifests itself in everyone. The only difference with humans is that the loser is emotionally scarred instead of mortally wounded.
Think back to the last time you saw someone you liked flirting with someone else. Remember that fist-clenching wave of rage you felt? That’s your inner loon. You know how when you’re lifting or playing a sport and you see someone attractive walk by, and suddenly you get this wild burst of energy? Inner loon.Loons use their bills because that’s their only way to fight for love, but the emotional complexity and technological capacity associated with being human offers us a diverse arsenal of tactics. Loon or human, at the end of the day, the goal is the same — fight for the one you love.
