Jumping Hurdles: Change

I’m having what I think might be defined as a mid-college existential crisis. Last night, as I lay awake in my bed, I suddenly wondered what I’m doing, where I am in life, what my plans are and if who I consider myself to be is what I really want. I then proceeded to spend a frenzied hour reevaluating all my college choices and making a bunch of pro-con lists. I called my mom and wondered if I had made the right choice with my major, with my friends, even in coming to Tufts. All I could think about was if I should be doing something else, and if I am really happy with the way my Tufts career has played out.

Junior year is an especially strange time of college. It’s right in the middle — the excitement and newness of freshman and sophomore year have worn off, and I’ve found myself stuck in a routine. Friend groups have been established, majors declared and people have pretty much settled into their clubs and extracurricular activities. Junior year feels somewhat stale, stagnant and irrelevant.

I feel stuck: stuck in my classes, stuck in my clubs, stuck in my definition of myself. Sometimes, it can feel as though nothing can change — after all, I’ve already spent two years at Tufts. Two whole years to establish myself, make friends and find what I’m interested in. And at this point in time, it feels as though it’s too late to rethink my decisions.

However, though it is so easy to slip into that thought process — and I find myself doing so more and more — I am doing my best to reject that feeling. Change is always possible. In reality, junior year can be equally as refreshing and exciting as freshman and sophomore year are. It is never too late to meet new people and get involved with new activities — it’s just a matter of making it happen.

The other day, a friend of mine told me that it was “Bold Moves Saturday.” The idea was that this day was a time to do something that scared you — something you’d been thinking about for a long time, but were too afraid to ever put into action. That time could not have been more relevant to how I feel. Though it is scary to consider changing a routine or changing something about yourself, it is never too late to do so.

Now, I’m embracing the idea of change. Tufts and I have a tumultuous relationship, but perhaps all I really needed was some type of change. I’m exploring the different clubs and opportunities at Tufts, I’m reconnecting with friends that I haven’t talked to in a while, I’m meeting new people, I’m saying "yes!" to more things. I am breaking the habits and the routines I’ve always had so I can find what truly fulfills me and makes me happy.

Do something bold. Do something that scares you. If you feel stuck, do something. Change something. Meet new people or go somewhere new or join a new club. It’s never too late to make a change. Change can be just the thing you needed.