My encounters with 'face'

While I was in Beijing this summer, I reached out to a friend of a friend who I was hoping would give me some insight into her industry. When my friend sent an email introducing the two of us, she responded immediately with an invitation to her office. When I arrived in Beijing, I sent her a follow-up email. Five weeks and two emails later, I finally got a reply. She was so glad to hear from me, but unfortunately, she was flying to the United States in two days and could probably squeeze me in tomorrow.

I was confused and frustrated. Why would she immediately extend an invitation and then not respond until five weeks later, when she had only one day to spare? I shared the situation with a friend, who was also puzzled, until she came to a conclusion: it was about face.

I had heard about the concept of "mianzi," or face, plenty of times in my study of Chinese politics and culture, but I did not truly understand it until this moment. To gain face is to gain respect and honor, and to lose face is to experience shame beyond what most Westerners can imagine. Face manifests as a strong sensitivity to the opinions of friends, co-workers, family and the general public.

It seems to me that "mianzi" is connected to a community-based view of the self. Whereas Western ideology is all about individualism and the self-made man, Chinese ideology is more about examining oneself through the eyes of others. Success is not standing out, but rather shaping oneself to the mold of expectations. This means that maintaining face, and not diverging from the expected path, is all part of what it means to live an accomplished life. The closest Western equivalent, I would say, is the concept of popularity, because Westerners place a similar premium on this. Even popularity, though, is not associated with such high stakes.

Of course, Americans are not entirely impervious to caring about face. As I pondered whether or not I would have encountered a similar situation in the United States, though, I realized that this was unlikely. The fact is, American culture is less likely than Chinese culture to make one care about what a stranger thinks of them. In my case, the woman might have responded by saying that she has a packed schedule, but that I should reach out later to see if she could squeeze me in. She had, on the other hand, gone out of her way to extend an invitation even though she was clearly too busy to make the time for my visit. Face seemed to be the best explanation.

So does "mianzi" tell us that many in China go around saying what they don’t really mean? That may be how a Westerner would see it. But those living in that context understand their words as custom, just as Americans might say, “what’s up?” to a friend in passing without anticipating a rundown on their life. Clearly, cultural context is key.