In our first Top Ten since 2013, the Daily Arts Department would like to honor the pageantry and glamour of the upcoming Academy Awards. This year, Ellen DeGeneres will be hosting the show. Though DeGeneres is a fan-favorite, we all pray for the day that Amy Poehler and Tina Fey host every event ever. However, since the planets have not aligned to that end just yet, we'd thought we'd share our master list of ten better hosts for the 2014 Oscars.
10.) Vladimir Putin: As genteel as a Russian lynx and fearless as a person who poops in public bathrooms, Putin has really come out flamboyantly as a true showman during the Winter Olympics in Sochi. Charming and horrifying all at once, the crowd will cheer his name during the show and huddle hopelessly together during commercial breaks so as to not upset the KGB.
9.) Nicholas Cage: Because bees, witches and the Declaration of Independence. That is all.
8.) Leonardo DiCaprio: Even if the guy doesn't win an award, at least he can be on stage.
7.) Jonah Hill: Only if he's wearing the veneers from a Wolf of Wall Street" (2013) the entire time.
6.) BuzzFeed quizzes: So, we're not quite sure how this would work, but c'mon, tell us that those BuzzFeed quizzes don't have all the qualities of an Oscar host: They're clever, topical and probably totally arbitrary.
5.) Miley Cyrus' dad: ... Or just his mullet. Or maybe even just that facial hair.
4.) Shia LeBeouf: He could just read the same script that Seth MacFarlane did!
3.) Bill Nye: Just try to thank God in your acceptance speech
