The other day, one of my male friends told me that girls are just as messy as guys. He said it as if it were some big truth, as if girls have been keeping this secret for centuries, and it's just now come to light.
In a way, this is sort of true. This feels like a more recent idea, something that hasn't been an issue before. But it's also pretty ridiculous.
It's not really fair to say that girls are messy, just like it's not fair to say that guys are messy. Some guys are messy. Some girls are messy, too. But not all. Some guys are neat and organized. Some guys leave socks on the floor. Some girls don't put away their shoes. Sometimes people are messy. Messiness isn't a gendered thing. Having a vagina does not automatically make you a neat person. Nor does it mean you should be messy. How would your genitals have any effect on how neat you are?
The thing is, they don't. It's not the genitals that are the problem, it's the idea that men and women are fundamentally different mentally and emotionally. The idea that you have to be one or the other, that gender is this discrete binary state that decides everything about you.
Part of me thinks this whole idea of women being the neat ones and men being the messy ones comes from the traditional "role" of women in the household. Women were supposed to keep the house clean, so people just started assuming women are neat. Because society forced women to clean.
That's like if someone made you eat nothing but kale, and then assumed you love kale because you eat it all the time. It's pretty messed up.
What I don't understand is why people are so surprised by girls being messy. One article I read made it seem like it came out of nowhere. All of a sudden, girls aren't cleaning their rooms, and all of a sudden guys are. And for some reason, this is a big problem.
Meanwhile, as far as I can tell, how messy or neat someone is has nothing to do with gender. People just have different tolerances for mess. Some people are okay with leaving dishes out, but don't like leaving things on the floor. Some people are the opposite.
People. Not women. Not men.
At the beginning of the school year, my soon-to-be roommate warned me that she was messy. At no point in time did I think it was so crazy that a girl could be messy. I just packed a vacuum.
Meanwhile, I have male friends whose rooms are not only clean, but also very well organized. Although I also know some guys who have messy rooms, too.
In the grand scheme of things, who is and isn't messy really doesn't matter. There are bigger stereotypes that women are fighting against. But sometimes, little things can make a difference, even if only a small one. Someone who judges a girl for being messy or judges a guy for being neat because they are that gender perpetuates the idea that women have to be this way, and men have to be another way. They reinforce the fear of any crossover between the two genders. A man certainly can't cook or wash dishes. That's women's work. And a woman certainly can't go out and chop wood. That's way too manly. A woman who's good at math? Absurd.
But gender stereotyping hurts all of us, as a society and as individuals. And more importantly, why does anyone even care if guys clean their rooms or girls leave everything on the floor?
This whole thing is ridiculous.
Anastasia Korolov is freshman who has not declared a major. She can be reached at Anastasia.Trombly@tufts.edu.
