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Top Ten | Celebrities we don't want to see topless

 

First, there was Miley Cyrus in the shower. Then, there was Vanesssa Hudgens in her birthday suit. Then the iPhone Blake Lively photos. And now, surprise — a topless photo of supposedly good-girl Taylor Swift has been leaked onto the Internet. Clearly, these girls have taken "sharing is caring" to heart. And while the Arts section always enjoys a good nude — get your minds out of the gutter, we're talking about Edgar Degas! — there are some celebrities we just prefer with their tops on.

10. Kristen Stewart: Maybe if we were turned on by printer paper, snow and Apple products. (We're trying to say she's really pale.)

9. Julian Assange: We hear he's not a regular bather...

8. Mark Wahlberg: Go watch "Boogie Nights" (1997) again. Dude has a third nipple. That's some circus-freak s--t.

7. Paula Deen: All the butter and spray tan's got to go somewhere.

6. Danny DeVito: This guy looks like a member of the Lollipop Guild crossed with a pregnant Santa Claus. Shirts on, please!

5. Hillary Clinton: Her necklines are that high for a reason, folks.

4. Winnie-the-Pooh: There's nothing under the pants; we don't want to risk anything under the shirt.

3. Vladimir Putin: Although it's been a few years since Putin circulated his iconic bareback-horse-riding-campaign photos, we think it's safe to say that few of us are ready for another round. Pray that for next year's race he finds a new PR guy.

2. Betty White: Her show might be called "Hot in Cleveland," but we're not so sure gravity would agree.

1. The Human Centipede: Which top?

-- compiled by the Daily Arts Department