Look, I've been saying it for years, and apparently Hollywood just isn't listening: We need more Chris Tucker in movies. Some of you might be asking, "Who is Chris Tucker?" or "Why do we need to inject him into feature films?" Let me tell you: He is that loud−mouthed, sassy and wildly incompetent sidekick. He's been featured alongside Bruce Willis in "The Fifth Element" (1997), Ice Cube in "Friday" (1995), Charlie Sheen in "Money Talks" (1997) and, most famously, Jackie Chan in the "Rush Hour" trilogy (1998, 2001, 2007).
Mr. Tucker has made an entire career out of being Mr. Tucker. He's obnoxious, he gets in the way of the actual protagonist, and he is inexplicably along for the ride. He takes credit for things he doesn't do, and he tries to bed every woman he meets (unsuccessfully). He has that distinctive panicked scream. When it hits the fan, you can be sure Chris Tucker will be hiding under a table.
Now, why would we need more of this goofball in movies? Because, to me, he represents the charm of the 1990s. He offers the fun and sense of escapism we've lost in our blockbuster movies. If you saw Chris Tucker's name on a poster, you'd be pretty likely to see him sing a Michael Jackson tune, bust a quick and completely out−of−place dance move and talk about crazy white people. You know exactly what to expect. You can't replace him. I mean, would you like "Rush Hour" if he weren't in it? (You do like "Rush Hour" — everyone does. I know you've caught it on TV halfway through and finished it half a dozen times.)
Sure, there are better movies out there than "Rush Hour 2." There are better scripts, better actors and better directors, but I have trouble naming a handful of movies that are more fun to watch. I laugh every time I see that Don Cheadle cameo — that part where Cheadle runs a Chinese restaurant in Los Angeles, is surprisingly competent at martial arts and speaks convincing Chinese. It's all so out of place that it could only happen in a Chris Tucker movie.
And don't get me started on the gag reels during the credits — if you don't like watching Jackie and Chris stumble over their lines, then you have an invalid opinion.
With only so much Chris Tucker to go around, we have to ask, "Who else can do what Mr. Tucker does?" The answer: no one alive, or at least no one still making movies. We have Judd Apatow's production company which makes "stoner" movies like "Pineapple Express" (2008), but can Seth Rogen or James Franco (it should be noted that I have an admittedly large man−crush on Mr. Franco, but that's neither here nor there) give a good Chris Tucker scream? No. Mr. Tucker promises lewd, crude and out−of−control humor, and we all want to go along for the ride. Zach Galifianakis, star of "The Hangover" (2009), could do it, but the recent "Due Date" (2010) doesn't bode well for his starring−role potential. This ain't looking good for us, the audience.
I guess what I am saying is, Hollywood, get us charismatic actors who can hold a film together. Bring Chris Tucker back for a "Rush Hour 4," get us Eddie Murphy for another "Beverly Hills Cop," resurrect Chris Farley for a "Tommy Boy 2," show me Martin Lawrence in "Bad Boys 3." Give leading roles to actors we want to follow around for two hours, and I will come back to the theaters. Because, honestly, I would pay good money to see Chris Tucker do stuff like react to 2girls1cup, watch a scary movie or just plain go to the supermarket.
We don't have many actors these days with that kind of "Look at me! I'm the most important thing in the room!" attitude, and we need them back.
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