I'd like to take the opportunity this week to address an issue I've noticed the past three years at Tufts. We have a drinking problem on the Hill, and it's serious. What? No, I don't give a damn about binge drinking. The problem we have is an issue of drink diversity.
We're a campus that proudly boasts about drawing students from over 65 countries, but we've latched onto a pathetically small number of adult beverages. I get it, Natty Light and Kappy's vodka are cheap, and, considering Tufts' tuition, no one can blame you for trying to save a few pennies. But really, you don't need to break the bank to whip up a few delicious cocktails. As a bartender and binge−on−a−budget veteran, let me give you some pointers.
Let's be completely honest here: When pounding drinks in your South Hall closet of a dorm room, the success of your drinks will hinge on balancing taste and punch. Most drinkers, especially beginners, want something that tastes like soda and kicks like SoCo. Think of yourself as a magician. Your act is this: "Look at the ridiculous amount of booze I just put in, but mix, stir, taste and it's gone!" Cue applause. Cue panty dropping. Serious alcoholics out there: I know, this is bush league. You should taste your booze. But remember, we were freshmen once, too — and besides, you can always pour heavier.
So there's your task: a smooth taste that slams you. Let's add that we're on a tight budget. It can be done; I promise. Here are two simple recipes perfect for the job: C.C.−ginger ale and vanilla vodka−cream soda.
C.C., aka Canadian Club Whiskey, used to be the bee's knees. C.C. is great. Your grandfather drank it. He was the recipient of a Purple Heart, the star of the high school football team and a ladies' man so fly that he bagged your grandmother, and that's a fact. Ginger ale is blowing up in a big way. Plus, a handle of C.C. will only run you about $20, so you can still afford that 2:15 a.m. Pizza Days delivery. Just fill a glass with ice, pour roughly two parts C.C. for every five parts ginger ale, and become the go−to pregame before that grime fest up on Pro Row.
But I know some people have a sad but devoted aversion to whiskey. They are bat−s−−− crazy, but to each his own. It's for you that I propose this second drink: vanilla vodka and cream soda. In recent years, the explosion of flavored vodkas has taken the beverage world by storm. You can get anything from whipped cream to sweet tea vodka; the latter is sexier than an Usher music video circa 2001. I highly recommend it. For now, let's keep it simple.
Vanilla vodka is good. It is a great partner to any sweet, dark soda. Match it with Dr. Pepper (a terrific mixer in general), Coke or, my personal favorite, cream soda. The sweet vanilla flavors match up perfectly, allowing for that heavy pour/masked taste balance. A couple of strong ones, and you're well on your way to waking up on the President's Lawn with no shoes and someone else's pants on. A handle of Stoli Vanilla Vodka can be procured without breaking $30. Same deal: glass, ice, 2:5 ratio, drink, repeat, blackout.
Now, these two drinks are by no means going to impress at any classy cocktail party, but they are still new to the college scene. Catch your floormates' eyes and taste buds with something different, delicious and surprisingly affordable.
No? Not your style? Too sugary? Not manly enough? Fine. F−−− it. Let's get some tequila.
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