On Sept. 23, "Sesame Street" announced that it would not run Katy Perry and Elmo's "Hot N Cold" duet because one of the celebrated figures — guess which — was baring a bit too much cleavage. And you thought Oscar the Grouch was trashy! In light of Perry's blunder, we've compiled a list of people who should be kept off the Street at all costs.
10. Insane Clown Posse: Fundamentals of reading, my ninjas! Actually, the nightmare-rap duo might be the perfect visitors to the Street, since their song "Miracles" was like a demented version of the show. "F------ magnets, Elmo, how do they work?!"
9. Lindsay Lohan: It would probably benefit LiLo to adopt Cookie Monster's new philosophy of cookies being a "sometimes food." And by cookies, we mean heroin. And by sometimes, we mean never.
8. Russell Brand: "Can you tell me how to get with Sex-with-me Street..."
7. The titular dad from "$h*! My Dad Says": Rule of thumb: If your parenting philosophy is, "A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed," then you probably shouldn't be on a kid's show.
6. Mel Gibson: Big Bird doesn't need a new nickname, and after Mel called that police officer "sugar tits," there's no telling what might come out of his mouth.
5. O.J. Simpson: Don't tell us Ernie wouldn't have done the same thing if Bert started messing around with Zoe.
4. The Situation: Aside from the fact that nobody from "Jersey Shore" should be a role model on a kids' TV show, we also don't want to contribute to The Situation's astronomically growing stardom.
3. Flavor Flav: He could probably school the kiddies in reading an analog clock, but Flav's suave moves and dashing charisma would probably be too much for parents who can't even handle Katy Perry's rack.
2. Willem Dafoe: He's a great actor, but a little too good at the sketchy-guy roles. From his evil grins to the spelling of his name — W-i-l-l-e-m D-a-f-o-e — everything about him should not be around children.
1. Mac and Dee from "Always Sunny in Philadelphia": If they get near any of the kids on the Street, they may just have another dumpster baby on their hands.
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compiled by the Daily Arts Department
