Why does America love Hollywood? Why do People magazines fly off the shelves faster than "Harry Potter" books, and why does Perez Hilton's website get more hits than Robot Unicorn Attack? Well, it all boils down to one simple reason — no, not Miley Cyrus. People love Hollywood because Hollywood is sexy. And we're not talking about your average eighth-grade-health-teacher sexy. We're talking about the Megan Fox (oh, she's nasty!), Demi and Ashton (Twitter, lolz) and Johnny Depp (what a rebel!) sexy.
One important component of moviemaking is finding the right onscreen couple. Picture this: two lovers shipwrecked in the ocean, clinging to a door that only supports one. The man (played by Woody Allen) remains in the water, submerging most of his body and subsequently dying of hypothermia — the ultimate sacrifice. The woman (Rosie O'Donnell) emotionally promises ol' Woody that she will live on without him.
This memorable scene from the romantic epic "Titanic" (1997) would just not be the same without its stars, Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. Their onscreen chemistry was so real and heart-wrenching that Chuck Norris was brought to tears — even though he has no tear ducts because he roundhouse-kicked himself in the face once.
Casting directors must avoid film faux pas when selecting actors and actresses for their films. Firstly, studio execs must not make ludicrous couples. On date night, moviegoers are more or less looking for realism. That's why they choose romantic comedies over "The Chronicles of Riddick" (2004).
Recently, the rom-com genre has seen a lot of mismatching, like the pairing of 40-year-old J.Lo with hunky 30-something Alex O'Loughlin in "The Back-Up Plan" (2010). O'Loughlin's from the Outback and, though you might be fooled by the rocks that she got, Jenny is from the Block. If you wouldn't see a couple being linked on eHarmony.com, they probably won't make the best romantic duo.
Instead, films should be going for comparable actors to play love interests. In "Date Night" (2010), comedy golden girl Tina Fey and goofball extraordinaire Steve Carell team up to play the Fosters, an average married couple from Jersey whose lives get flip-turned upside down when they are mistaken for blackmailers. Though the plot and action sequences of the film faltered, Carell and Fey anchored the film with their complementary comedic acting. Truly a match made in NBC heaven.
Another example of a classic couple is that of Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal in "Brokeback Mountain" (2005). Though no one would have guessed it, Donnie Darko and the rough-edged Aussie made for one steamy pair. Both excelled in playing rugged cowboys with repressed homosexual feelings. The two fed off of each other brilliantly as Ledger starred as the resistant Ennis being pressured by Gyllenhaal's Jack. Ang Lee won the Oscar for Best Director due to this film, but we give the award to casting director Avy Kaufman.
One common mistake filmmakers make is to put real-life lovers in films together. Though actors often find love with their co-stars, pairing lovers is ludicrous. Would we pay good money to see Flavor Flav and his current stripper fiancée, Liz, star in a film together? Well, probably. But would we pay even more money to see Flavor Flav with 20 raunchy, SoCo-guzzling harlots named Spunkeey? Yup.
Take "The Break Up" (2006), for example. The film starred Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston as a couple in a rocky relationship. The film was just as asinine as Aniston's relationship choices. John Mayer's not the one, girl! The only film that pulled off true chemistry was "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" (2005). What can we say? Brangelina is fine.
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Zach Drucker is a sophomore majoring in International Relations, and Chris Poldoian is a sophomore who has not yet declared a major. They can be reached at Zachary.Drucker@tufts.edu and Christopher.Poldoian@tufts.edu.
