While it's impossible to generalize for a whole gender, I feel like women appreciate random things that guys are somewhat unaware of, while they complain about small things guys do all the time. There are a whole slew of things that women jokingly wish guys knew, and despite the Cosmo for Men−sounding title, I thought I'd try compiling a list of a few of them:
1. The five o'clock shadow: OK yeah, it's cute sometimes. But really, have you tried making out with sandpaper recently? The word "stubble" even sounds rough. There are some guys out there who can get by due to naturally soft facial hair, but if you're noticing a pattern of girls running for their Chapstick after a long liplock and a reddish facial tinge that has nothing to do with a natural flush, keep it smooth or grow it out!
2. Making the call: If you said you'd call by Thursday and it's now Sunday, you're probably already written off. Yeah, we get that you've "been busy," but if you were really interested, you'd have found a few minutes to call. Also, the "wait three days" rule for calling after getting a phone number is ridiculous. I promise you don't look desperate if you call the next day.
3. Mr. Manners: This one's a little more obvious, and I feel like most Tufts guys have this one down pretty well, but holding open a door is always a nice gesture. Even most feminists will appreciate it and will simply hold the next door for you. However, I was once involved with a guy who never let me touch a door handle, walk on the outside edge of a sidewalk or get in the elevator after him. It was "nice" but kind of awkward when he ran ahead to hold open literally every single door.
4. What you're really excited about: Sitting across from a guy whose eyes light up when he talks about something — say politics, an engineering project, or '80s movies — is exciting. You know a date's going well when you can get the other person interested in something you're passionate about. One of my guy friends, a computer whiz, commented recently about how he likes passing on computer skills to girlfriends and teaching them how to use different programs. YES. Sharing your enthusiasm and niche skills is ridiculously charming.
5. Pushing the button: "Why would you rev the engine if you're not going to take the car out for a ride?" Some guys assume that lines like this are OK as long as they don't demand, umm, certain things mid−hookup, but it's really not a joke. If a woman has indicated that she doesn't want to take things further, do you want to guilt her into doing something she might regret?
6. Cooking: It's attractive, hands down. You don't have to have Iron Chef−style skills; just cooking a simple dinner (or breakfast the morning after) is a winning gesture.
7. Complimenting: My housemate and former Daily columnist Griffin Pepper described the art of taking a compliment in "Eight Girls and a Guy" last semester, but there are a few pointers on how to give them too. I think the issue is mostly about under− and over−complimenting. Everyone appreciates a compliment, and I've heard many a girlfriend complain about how their significant others never notice when they're dressed up. On the other hand, too many compliments carry such diminishing returns and sound kind of fake. My dad wonders why I roll my eyes when he tells me I look nice — for the fourth time that day.
8. Choice adjectives: Speaking of compliments, one girl I know said, "I don't like being told I'm cute, I don't really take it as a compliment." While "cute" and "pretty" are generally nice, most women agree that you can never go wrong with "gorgeous" or "beautiful." "Hot" is both context− and individual−dependent. While one girl I know said she would never want her boyfriend to tell her she looked hot, another thought it was great compliment in the right moment.
9. Eye contact: If we're chatting and your gaze is about 12 inches south of eye level, we can tell. Every. Time. Test it out and ask someone to even stare at your chin for a minute while you talk — isn't it ridiculously obvious?
10. When we're in a bad mood: Don't suggest it's "that time of month" when we're acting less than our usual cheerful selves. As one of my friends said, "Am I the only one that finds this aggravating? Just tell me to stop being pissy or get me some chocolate."
11. Kissing on the first date: Why is this still an issue for some guys? It shouldn't be — if it was a good date, then go for it. Otherwise she'll be wondering what went wrong or if she had broccoli in her teeth half the time. For all of you "leaving her wanting more" types, you're driving us nuts.
12. Snoring: I want to know about this deal−breaker habit before getting too attached. Kidding (sort of), but if you really do snore, please let us know before it's too late to politely suggest that we "have to wake up early tomorrow," or at least so that we can scrounge up some earplugs and know that it's OK to jab you in the side when the decibels reach a certain point.
13. The toilet seat: No complaints if it's a house full of guys, but seriously, if you're in a woman's house, put it down. It's just one of those "polite things." Also notable: We get used to not looking before we sit when stumbling half−asleep into the bathroom at 4 a.m. You know what I mean?
